


Madeline

by thatgleekychick



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 05:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2217024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgleekychick/pseuds/thatgleekychick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of how she came to be is paved with questionable decisions, heartache, and unconditional love. When Rachel Berry shows up at the door of Kurt and Blaine's NYC apartment, soaking wet and pregnant, no one knew how everything was about to change. Or how one little girl would be the glue that held so many pieces together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. From the Autobiography of Rachel Berry

**Author's Note:**

> This has already been completed and posted on various sites, but I decided to post it here.

**Chapter 22: The Anderson-Hummels**

The first time I met Blaine Anderson, it was the first day of my sophomore year at NYU. Like me, Blaine was a music student, though a couple of years older and he sat down next to me in Music Theory 204.

The first thing I noticed about Blaine was how incredible he smelled; something Dolce and Cabana, I think. It hit my senses before I even turned around to introduce myself. The second thing I noticed once I finally turned to look at him was how drop dead gorgeous he was. His eyes were a honey color and were warm and his dark hair was gelled with a little too much product, but he had a smile that would surely melt the panties off any girl.

And when he told me about what he was doing at NYU, I was enamored. There was a flicker of something, excitement, passion, determination, in Blaine eyes. It was the same excitement about music that I saw in my own eyes every morning as I gave myself my daily pep talk. I was desperate for the stage, Broadway had been calling my name from the moment I was conceived and there was nothing, and I mean _nothing_ that would stand in my way of becoming a star.

But despite our similar passion, Blaine was different. During our very first conversation I learned that Blaine wanted to be a songwriter. He wanted to put his words out there with a melody for the whole world to hear. But he’d been majoring in music education so that he could teach while he wrote, waiting for his change at fame. One day I would learn to appreciate Blaine’s ability to think practically about his future. But at the time, I thought he was a fool.

I was immediately interested; looking to find my leading man who could keep up with my talent (not that I actually knew at that point if Blaine had any). But then he told me about Kurt, his boyfriend, and all my dreams of Blaine Anderson fathering my children I would have after I’d won at least two Tony Awards were shattered.

I met Kurt Hummel for the first time a few months later, right before Thanksgiving break that year. Kurt was a fashion student at Parsons. He was taller than Blaine with legs for days and he was perfectly dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a grey sweater. His hair was perfectly styled on the top of his head. I wasn’t really sure what Blaine’s type was, but for some reason Kurt Hummel didn’t seem like it. Before Blaine had even finished introducing us, I knew I didn’t like him. I wasn’t sure why and it was clear by the end of the night that he wasn’t too fond of me either. It continued that way for years to come.

Thinking about it now, I think the biggest reason why we didn’t get along then and in the coming years was because we were, and are so alike. We’re both so ambitious that it sometimes clouds our judgment of situations, people, and ourselves. Kurt had a passion for fashion, about finding the perfect outfit, the perfect fabric, and the perfect accessories for every moment of your life. And that passion burned just as bright as mine was to find the perfect song, the perfect note, to have the perfect performance.  Spoiler alert: We eventually came to an understanding and I’d like to think he loves me just as a little bit now. Though he’ll probably deny it if you ask him out right.

And then there is Madeline; the best thing that ever happened to me. The story of how she came to be is paved with decisions that, without her, I wouldn’t have been proud of. But I can’t regret a single thing I’d done because all of that led me to her. Watching Madeline grow up over the last twenty years has been the one of the greatest joys I have ever had. Madeline’s existence taught me lessons I didn’t know I needed to learn. She taught me, for the first time in my spoiled life, how to stop being selfish and to give a thought to someone other than myself. She was the gift that I was given, but only so that I could give her to someone else.

I don’t think any of us understood what we were in for when I showed up at Kurt and Blaine’s apartment one night, four months pregnant and soaking wet. But that night, Madeline quickly became the glue that brought a lot of pieces together.

 


	2. 5 Months Until Madeline

The plan for Friday evening was to take an evening walk in the park after dinner before they both buried themselves in their separate worlds to get some work done. Blaine had some grading to do, but more importantly, there had been melody flowing through his head all week and now that he’d finally made it to the weekend  he was ready to release it and pluck it out on the keyboard that they had set up in the living room. Never really being off the clock, Kurt had a bunch of reports to run for the big staff meeting on Monday, while planning the meeting at the same time. The walk was meant to give Kurt and Blaine a little time with each other before the demands of the real world called on them for the evening. The more they got done tonight, the more time they would have for each other the rest of the weekend. But when the sky grew dark and the tiny drops of rain began to coat New York City, it was time for plan B.

So instead, Kurt and Blaine used the time they would have been walking the streets cuddled on their couch in the living room of their two bedroom apartment, the radio playing softy in the background as the rain fell harder and the soft roar of an early fall thunderstorm echoed through the city.

Kurt Hummel met Blaine Anderson at the beginning of their freshman year of college. Kurt, a fashion student at Parsons School of New Design, had allowed a friend to set him up on a blind date with one of the music students she knew from NYU. The term ‘music student’ frightened Kurt, but he’d agreed, and when Blaine showed up looking like something from his dreams, with his dark jeans and his maroon cardigan over a black t-shirt, Kurt was instantly drawn to Blaine. It was only a bonus to discover that they had so much in common. It was no wonder why Tina had set them up.

They’d bonded over musical theatre and music in general. Even though Kurt’s calling in life was fashion, his love for the magic that happened on a Broadway stage burned bright.  And seated outside a little restaurant Kurt and Blaine laughed and sang (much to the chagrin of the patrons around them), for hours until it was late and they both had to get back to their dorms. But as they said goodbye with a kiss, something was certain. They’d bonded over Wicked and Phantom of the Opera and the love of song, but there was something there, something special.

They’d been together ever since.

They’d both been out of college for a little over and year and they’d been living together for almost two. They were happy, Blaine working as an assistant music teacher at a school a few blocks from their apartment, teaching piano three nights a week, and Kurt working inside the offices for Vogue.com as an assistant to one of the most prestigious fashion editors in the country, if not the world. They were doing alright for themselves; they were secure, financially, and Blaine had some family money that he could tap into if he needed it. But they both promised each other they’d make it on their own; without the help of their parents or their families. They were living out their dreams and they wanted no one to credit but themselves.

The topic of marriage had come up a few times, mostly in the abstract and the well-meaning suggestion of Kurt’s stepmother. They were about to approach their six-year anniversary and they both knew that one day, they wanted to get married, to each other. But neither of them really made mention of making it something tangible. There were no hidden rings, but they’d get there. They both knew it. When the time was right, they’d get there.

The sound of the rain and the comfort of each other’s company led to the decision that whatever work they’d planned on doing tonight: lesson plans, melodies, and reports on leather underwear could wait until tomorrow. They had the whole weekend to get ready for Monday, they should enjoy the time with each other now. Plus there was a What Not to Wear marathon on and it seemed like a night to just be. Together.

A knock on the door a few hours later pulled Kurt from his running internal commentary about the show. Blaine had told him to be quiet and just watch after the second episode, so he’d been trying not to verbalize his many objections to what the supposed experts were doing. When the knock came again, Kurt sat up from where he’d been wrapped up with a half-asleep Blaine and muttered an ‘I’ll get it’ and a ‘who the hell could this be’ before getting up and greeting their unexpected guest. Kurt slid the door open and came face to face with someone that he hadn’t seen in over a year, someone he wasn’t too fond of.

Standing in front of Kurt, soaked to the bone, was Rachel Berry. She had been a classmate and a friend of Blaine’s during college, but since the first time they’d met, there was always something about her that had gotten on Kurt’s last nerve. And even now, her dark hair sticking to her face, her eyes red-rimmed, and two bags in her hand, Kurt couldn’t help the extreme dislike for the girl that bubbled up inside of him.

Kurt took in the girl without saying a word until Blaine appeared last behind him.

“Rachel, what’s going on?”

Rachel looked up at Blaine and then over at Kurt. Kurt knew that Rachel was a beautiful girl. She was usually put together quite nicely with big hair, elaborate makeup, and outfits that even Kurt would approve of. She was loud and, in Kurt’s opinion grating. But the girl standing at his door was a far cry from the usual Rachel Berry. This girl’s face was void of makeup, her hair and skin wet from the rain. She looked plain, ordinary, something Kurt had never associated with Rachel. She just looked sad.

“Rachel,” Blaine said moving to stand next to Kurt, “Come in. You’re soaked.”

But Rachel only shook her head, her face so sad and when she spoke her voice was timid and weak, “No, I shouldn’t have come here. I don’t want to bother you.”

“Well, you’re already here,” Kurt said, the frustration in his voice evident though he’d tried to curb it, to show some compassion towards the girl who clearly looked like she could use some, “You might as well come in.”

Kurt stepped aside and Rachel crossed the threshold into the apartment, hesitantly, as if she expected Kurt to change his mind any second and push her out and slam the door in her face.

“Let me talk those,” Blaine said reaching for Rachel’s bags once she was inside the apartment, “Kurt, can you grab a couple towels?”

Kurt opened his mouth to argue, but closed it quickly. She was Blaine’s friend and he may not like her but Rachel was in his apartment, soaking wet and obviously upset. He’d find it in him to play nice with her while she was here. For Blaine. Because it was times like now where Kurt truly thought that Blaine was a better person than he was. Kurt would do anything for his friends, yes, but they were like his family. As far as Kurt knew, Rachel and Blaine hadn’t spoken to each other since Blaine had graduated NYU. But despite all of that, Blaine had jumped to Rachel’s aid without a single question. He’d be lying if Blaine’s kindness didn’t make him smile a bit on the way to bathroom to do as Blaine had asked.

When Kurt came back from the bathroom, a couple dry white towels still folded in his hand, Rachel and Blaine were sitting on the same couch where he and Blaine had been cuddled up just minutes before. Rachel sat quietly, her eyes focused on her hands clasped tightly in her lap. She looked up when Kurt entered the room, taking the towels from him with a quiet thank you, then running it through her soaked hair.

Kurt sat down on the arm of the chair nearest to Blaine and waited. The three of them sat in silence for a long while, no one asking questions, no one offering answers. It was beginning to drive Kurt nuts until Blaine finally spoke.

“Rachel,” Blaine said softly, “What happened? Are you hurt?”

Rachel sniffed, a few tears fell from her eyes leaving behind more wetness on her already soaked face, “No I’m fine; physically, at least. God, I shouldn’t have come here. But I didn’t know where else to go and this was the first place I thought of.”

“What’s going on,” Blaine asked again.

“Well, I’m pregnant,” Rachel said, a sarcastic laugh escaping through her lips as she put her hand down against her stomach, a tiny glimpse at the Rachel Berry Kurt knew coming to the surface as another batch of tears fell down her face, “And I’ve lost my apartment and I’m pretty sure I’ve destroyed my entire life.

When Rachel put her hand down against her stomach, it was the first time either Kurt or Blaine saw that there was a tiny bump protruding beneath Rachel’s oversized shirt.

“Oh, wow,” Blaine said unable to find other words, “W-whose—“

Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath, opening them and looking at Blaine for the first time since she’d started speaking, “Jesse St. James,” she huffed, “He’s a casting director for an off-off Broadway production that was supposed to be the next big thing. He promised me the leading role; he promised I would be a star. So I dropped out of NYU—“

“You did what?” Blaine said, “You’re about to graduate.”

“I know,” Rachel said, “But you know me; my education came second to being a star. Everything comes second to me becoming a star. He started sleeping together. He was hot and older and he wanted me. He told me he was going to leave his wife—“

“He was married?” Kurt asked incredulously.

“I know,” Rachel defended. As much as Kurt disliked Rachel, Rachel disliked Kurt just as much in return, “It wasn’t my smartest move. But I really can’t change any of it can I?”

Rachel got quiet, her hands going to her belly.

“How far along are you?” Kurt asked.

“Four months,” Rachel said, “I told him and he laughed in my face. I told him and he told me that I was ruined. That I should get out of theatre and that he never wanted to see me again.”

“What an asshole,” Kurt commented surprising even himself. He really didn’t like Rachel, but this Jesse St. James idiot sounded like a Grade A Jackass.

“He is,” Rachel said, “So that’s how I became the unwed mother who ended up at your door.”

“What about your dads?” Blaine asked.

“I don’t think I could face telling them. I don’t think I could look them in the eye and tell them that their little girl, the one who they sacrificed so much for, threw her entire chance of becoming a star out the window for a guy who didn’t even care about her. I can’t face the disappointed look on their faces.”

“Excuse us,” Blaine said a beat later, jumping up from his seat on the couch, grabbing Kurt by the hand and dragging him into their bedroom, closing the door behind them.

“What are you doing,” Kurt asked in a hushed voice.

“Let her stay,” was all that said in response.

“What? Blaine, are you crazy?”

“I don’t know. Maybe,” Blaine said, “But we can’t just let her leave. I know you don’t like her very much, and I have no idea why, but she’s pregnant and without a place to stay and we happen to have a guest bedroom that is currently vacant.”

“No,” Kurt countered, “We have a guest bedroom that is currently full of a bunch of things I need for work.”

“Which can easily be moved to the living room, or our bedroom, or off the side so it’s not in the way.”

“Blaine—“

“It’s not forever,” Blaine explained, “Just until she finds something else. She’s being stubborn right now, but eventually she’ll get help from her dads. I know it. Kurt, please.”

Kurt looked at his boyfriend; Blaine’s warm, honey colored eyes were soft as they pleaded with Kurt just the way his words had. Blaine knew that Kurt couldn’t say no to that look but it wasn’t like he was asking for a dog or a goldfish. Blaine wanted to take in a person, a pregnant person, and one that Kurt wasn’t too fond of at that. But underneath his snarky demeanor, Kurt was a human and he had compassion. Even for those he disliked.

Kurt sighed in defeat, “I’ll go clean up the guest room. You go tell Rachel she can stay.”

Blaine launched himself into Kurt’s arms, kissing his boyfriend repeatedly on various parts of his face. And finally against Kurt’s lips, “Thank you, Kurt.”

“But, Blaine,” Kurt said, “This is temporary. For the night; for a couple of nights at most.”

“I know,” Blaine said kissing Kurt’s lips again quickly, “I love you.”

Blaine bolted out of the room before Kurt could say anything in response.

* * *

Later that night, long after Blaine had fallen asleep, Kurt sat at the kitchen table with a glass of warm milk, trying to coax his body and his mind into a state that would allow him to get some rest. He wasn’t sure what was preventing him from drifting off, maybe it was work, maybe it was the pregnant woman sleeping in their guest room; maybe it was something else entirely. But he’d tossed and turned so much that he knew that if he continued, he would surely wake Blaine. So instead he padded to the kitchen, warmed some milk and sat at the kitchen table waiting for answers, or sleep, to come from the silence that surrounded him. He’d just thought about taking out some of the work that he’d avoided earlier in order to get his mind focused on something other than whatever it was that was eating away at him, when he heard soft footsteps behind him.

Kurt turned in his chair to see Rachel, she had showered before bed and now her hair was pulled up on top of her head in a messy buns and she was wearing yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt. Even in the dim light, Kurt could see that Rachel’s eyes were still red-rimmed. He wondered if she’d slept at all or if she’d been crying all night in their guest bedroom.

“I’m just getting some water,” Rachel whispered thought Kurt knew that Rachel could begin to sing an aria before Blaine would be woken from his sleep. But there was something about the time of night that called for whispering.  As if anything else would disrupt the balance of the entire world.

Kurt just nodded and pointed to the cabinet where they kept the glasses. He turned back to the mug in front of him listening to the water run for a moment from the sink behind him; he wasn’t sure what to say, what he could say.

“Kurt,” Rachel whispered before falling silent again.

Kurt turned around and saw that Rachel had started to cry again. Kurt didn’t move, he didn’t say anything. He wasn’t sure how to deal with any of this.

“Thank you,” Rachel said her voice laced with a sadness that made even Kurt’s chest tighten, “I know you and I don’t really…get along. And I know letting me stay here was Blaine’s idea and you just gave your okay, but thank you,” she paused to take a long shaky breath, “My life is kind of a mess right now and I’d like to thank you for giving me somewhere to stay, even if it’s only for a little while.”

Still at a loss for words, Kurt only nodded. It wasn’t sure ‘you’re welcome’ was appropriate for the situation, but he wanted her to know that he’d heard her and that it was okay. Rachel whispered goodnight and padded back to the guest room with her water. Kurt sat at the kitchen table for a few more minutes, the silence returning around him, before he put his mug in the sink and went back to the bedroom. Sliding beneath the covers, Kurt made himself comfortable. A moment later, Blaine rolled over and wrapped an arm around Kurt’s waist, still asleep, as he nuzzled into Kurt’s neck. Kurt took a deep breath and closed his eyes. A moment later he finally drifted off to sleep.


	3. 4 Months Until Madeline

Two weeks later, the guest bedroom of Kurt and Blaine’s apartment was still occupied by a tiny pregnant brunette and there had been no mention of when, or even if, she was moving out.

It wasn’t that Rachel was difficult to live with. In fact, Kurt’s hostile feelings towards the girl aside, Kurt would have said that she wasn’t difficult at all. She cleaned up after herself in the bathroom (and was never in there longer than she needed to be) and in the kitchen. With the little money Rachel had left, she bought her own food, and at the end of the first week she’d accompanied Blaine to the grocery store, bought her own groceries and consumed only that; even on the night’s where Blaine made enough dinner for all three of them. Kurt hadn’t argued with Blaine when he reminded her every morning that she didn’t need to buy her own cereal. He knew the girl’s funds were limited and he didn’t mind picking up a few things for her when they went to the store on Sunday afternoon.

No, it wasn’t Rachel’s behavior that was the most difficult part of their new living arrangement that seemed to be becoming more permanent every day.  What Kurt found most difficult was the way Blaine was handling Rachel.

Rachel was, understandably, sad. She spent a lot of time hiding in the bedroom and didn’t come out other than to eat, use the bathroom or get a glass of water. And Blaine was bending over backwards trying to make her happy again. Blaine’s compassion was one of the many reasons that Kurt fell in love with Blaine. Blaine as a great friend and he liked to take care of people; which made him absolutely obsessed with making sure Rachel was as comfortable as possible. It was like Blaine had been the one to put Rachel in this situation and he’d do anything to make it right again.  Each time Blaine invited Rachel to do something with him or join them on the couch, Rachel just shrugged and shook her head and disappeared back into her room. And it was beginning to infuriate Kurt.

Though she’d offered several times, they (Blaine more than Kurt) were insistent that Rachel didn’t need to be responsible for any of the chores around the house as long as she cleaned up after herself. Kurt didn’t need her to fold his laundry or do his dishes, but honestly, the idea of Rachel hanging around their apartment doing absolutely nothing while he and Blaine were at work bothered him. A lot. The thought of coming home after an eight, or sometimes, ten hour day to find Rachel in front of the television watching General Hospital or Ellen made his blood boil.

But what could Rachel do otherwise? She had no job, no money, no known interests other than performing, and Kurt hadn’t heard a note from her since she arrived.

But despite his fears, Kurt always returned home after work to find Blaine making dinner (or more recently sitting at the keyboard, a frustrated look on his face) and the door to Rachel’s bedroom shut and  the brunette nowhere to be found.  In fact, Kurt didn’t seem much of his guest during the week. She usually only came out for dinner, to grab some water at the end of the night, or to use the bathroom.

On Saturday Morning, Kurt and Blaine sat quietly at their kitchen table, a small plate of toast sitting between the two of them while they huddled together, taking in the warmth of their coffee while they waited for the caffeine to wake up their brains. They whispered about what they wanted to do with their day to each other like it was something for only the two of them to know. Kurt wanted to go to the flea market that had setup for the weekend a few blocks from their apartment and Blaine seemed to think it was a good idea.  The weekends were precious to Kurt and Blaine; two days of mostly uninterrupted time to just be together. And the early October weather was nice for walking.

The boys turned towards Rachel’s bedroom when the door opened and she stepped out quietly. She was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized black t-shirt that made her belly less obvious but also made her look like she was wearing a tent. Her hair was gathered on top of her head in a messy bun and it looked like she put on a little makeup. Rachel’s purse was slung on her shoulder as she closed the bedroom door behind her and headed towards the door of the apartment without a word to Kurt or Blaine who sat at the table watching her. In the two weeks since she’d started staying with them, this was the first time either of them had seen her leave the apartment without them.

“Hey, Rach,” Blaine said, “There’s coffee. I can put on a pot for tea.”

Rachel stopped at Blaine’s words, startled as if she hadn’t seen them sitting there, so wrapped up in what she was doing that they had faded in the background. Her gaze flickered to the cellphone in her hand, “Thank you, Blaine. But if I don’t leave now, I’ll be late.”

“Something special,” Blaine asked with a smile.  They’d been friends for years but despite the fact that Rachel was staying with them, Kurt knew that Blaine was having a hard time getting Rachel to talk to him. It was frustrating Blaine and it was slightly painful for Kurt to watch Blaine try so hard and only receive distant nods and shrugged shoulders in response.

“Oh,” Rachel said flustered, “No. I-I have a doctor’s appointment.”

“What? Why didn’t you say anything,” Blaine questioned with a tone of voice that made Kurt wonder if Blaine was actually hurt by this.

Rachel shrugged, “I didn’t think it was a big deal. It’s just a checkup.”

“It is a big deal,” Blaine said, “We could go with you.”

Blaine made a gesture that clearly meant that “we” meant himself and Kurt and, unnoticed; Kurt’s eyes went wide at Blaine’s side.

“I thought we were going to the flea market,” Kurt said to remind Blaine that they had already decided; but it seemed too late.

“You really don’t need to do that,” Rachel said.

Blaine stood up from the table, leaving his boyfriend behind to watch, amazed and frustrated, as Blaine walked over to Rachel and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“You’re our friend, Rachel,” Blaine said and Kurt bit his tongue to stop from reminding both of them that he and Rachel were not friends, “and you shouldn’t have to do this on your own.”

Rachel looked at Blaine, her face softening a little like she might start crying, “You’re more than welcome to come with me. But please don’t feel any obligation.”

“Yes, Blaine,” Kurt offered, “Please don’t feel any obligation.”

Blaine turned around and shot a look at Kurt, obviously upset with his boyfriend’s behavior, “We can go to the flea market when we get back from going to Rachel’s doctor appointment,” Blaine said to Kurt, “Because we want to go. Don’t we Kurt?”

Of course he didn’t want to go. He wanted to go to the flea market with his boyfriend and buy a couple of cute little knick knacks for their apartment and then go with Blaine to that little café they loved for lunch. He didn’t want to go to the doctor appointment across town for a girl he only tolerated for Blaine.  But Blaine was now smiling back with him; pleading with Kurt with warm eyes and Kurt knew two things. The first was that Blaine actually wanted to go with Rachel to her appointment and for some strange reason wanted Kurt there too. And the second was that in most cases, Blaine’s pleading, hazel eyes would make him give in like a house of cards in the wind. So Kurt sighed in defeat then looked at Blaine, then to Rachel, then back to Blaine with a soft smile.

“Of course we do,” Kurt said as genuinely as possible standing from the table, “Just give me enough time to change into something that is acceptable for public.”

* * *

The waiting room at the doctor’s office was tiny but felt even smaller because three of the four walls were lined with chairs, most of them empty. The fourth wall was occupied by the receptionist’s desk and a door that Blaine presumed led to the doctor’s actual office. There was TV in the corner that was playing the weekend morning programming of one of the major networks, but the sound was turned off and the people only spoke through wild gestures and the closed captioned language that scrolled across the bottom of the screen. 

While Rachel checked herself in, Kurt and Blaine sat down across from another woman, probably not much older than Rachel who sat quietly with her hands folded over her expanded belly. She looked sad as she sat there staring at her hands. Blaine noticed that the woman didn’t wear any kind of ring on her left hand, and though he wasn’t judging her and knew that there was no need for any tradition to be in this state, but he wondered if the woman was like Rachel. If the frown she wore now, and the tears she shed in private were for the same reason Rachel never really smiled anymore. Or the reason Blaine heard her cry herself to sleep most nights.

Blaine tore his eyes away from the pregnant stranger and looked over at his boyfriend. He appreciated the fact that Kurt had agreed to let Rachel stay, and even more so since it had been two weeks and there was no sign of Rachel leaving. He wouldn’t kick her out, even if Kurt insisted on it, but from the way Kurt had acted that morning, and the way he’d been distant the entire way over, Blaine knew that Kurt was in one of his moods and that he was going to hit his breaking point soon. And Blaine was surprised it hadn’t come sooner.

“Do you want go to out to lunch after we’re through here,” Blaine whispered.

Kurt only shrugged, still staring at his phone.

“You could have stayed home if you’re going to be like this,” Blaine said continuing to keep his voice low though it was probably audible to almost everyone in the room.

“Actually,” Kurt said at the same volume, “You told Rachel that we would both come with her. So I didn’t really have a choice.”

“If this is about the flea market, we can go when we get back,” Blaine explained, “It’ll still be early.”

“It isn’t about the flea market, Blaine,” Kurt said, “But can we not talk about this here?”

“I’d like to find out why you’re so angry all of a sudden.”

Kurt sighed, “Please, Blaine. Just drop it for right now.  We can talk about it later. On the way to the flea market when we get back from lunch.”

Blaine smiled, reaching over to take Kurt’s hand in his, maneuvering their hands until he could lace their fingers together, grateful that Kurt’s hand relaxed in his own. Kurt gave their hands a gentle squeeze and gave Blaine a smile as Rachel came and sat down in the chair across from them, the woman who had been there before had been called back to see the doctor. She sat down quietly, crossing her legs at the ankle and checked something silently on her phone.

“Who’s your doctor,” Blaine asked in attempt the fill the silence that had come over the whole room. The only sound came from the occasional, and startling, ring of the phone behind the front desk.

“Doctor Evans,” Rachel told Blaine, “Doctor Quinn Evans.”

“Do you like her?”

“Yeah, she’s great,” Rachel said.

“Have you told your parents yet,” Blaine asked.

“No,” Rachel said, “My parents keep calling and I keep telling them that everything is fine and I don’t know what to tell them. I hate lying to them like this.”

“You aren’t going to be able to keep this from them forever,” Kurt said. His words held no malice, but Blaine knew that Kurt was looking for a reason to get Rachel out of their apartment.

“I know,” Rachel said with a sigh, “But I’d like to put off the inevitable for as long as possible. Once they find out everything they’ll try to ship me back home and I’ll just be back to where I’ve worked so hard not to be.”

Rachel’s eyes were far away now. Blaine thought that maybe she was thinking about the horror it would be to go back to the small town he knew she came from after being in New York, the place where all her dreams were supposed to come true. Blaine knew, and he knew Kurt did too, all about coming to New York in search of dreams. He and Kurt had both escaped Ohio, found each other, finished school and they both had jobs that they loved.  They were living their dream. The thought about having to go back to live with his family, as much as he loved them, for the rest of his life made something nasty flare up inside Blaine.

A nurse came out and called Rachel’s name. Rachel stood and looked at Kurt and Blaine.

“While I’m happy that you came, both of you, I think this is probably something you don’t want to be a part of.”

The boys didn’t argue but smiled as Rachel followed the nurse behind the door next to the front desk.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later Rachel walked back through the door, plastering on a small smile as she shook the hand of Dr. Evans, her obstetrician. Rachel liked Dr. Evans. She was nice and she didn’t seem immediately put off when Rachel had mentioned that her baby’s father would never be joining them, that he wasn’t around. The doctor only smiled and commented on the handsome boys she’d seen her with in the waiting room. Friends, she’d responded, but the truth was they were barely that. Blaine was her friend, yes, but they weren’t close. Just two kids who graduated in the same program in college. And Kurt. Well, she was never really going to be Kurt’s friend.

Rachel and Dr. Evans said their goodbyes and Rachel turned back towards the boys who were still seated as she left them, Kurt checking things on his phone, and Blaine sitting quietly.  Blaine looked up and spotted her, a smile crossing his face. As Rachel approached them, Blaine leaped from his seat, Kurt following at a less excited pace behind him.

“So,” Blaine said with an enthusiasm that was a bit startling, “How’d it go?”

Rachel stayed silent for a moment. It had been a successful checkup. Everything was normal and healthy and when Dr. Evans had asked her if she wanted to know the sex of her baby she’d foolishly said yes.

“It’s a girl,” Rachel told them, trying her best to keep a smile on her face, to show the excitement every new mother should have when finding out that they’re going to have a little girl to play dress up with or braid her hair. Guiltily, Rachel wasn’t feeling any of those things.

Blaine smiled widely and leaned in to wrap his arms around Rachel, “That’s amazing!”

When Rachel hooked her chin on Blaine’s shoulder, grateful for the compassion her friend had been showing her, he locked eyes with Kurt who’d been standing behind Blaine. He was smiling, though Rachel knew it had nothing to do with her. What Rachel was seeing was a man in love. And a twinge of jealousy ran through her. She’d never have anyone look at her that way again.

The entire way home, Blaine rambled on and one about names and how he’d always loved the names Abigail and Emily. About how he’d seen the perfect little purple dress in the window of one of the shops near Time Square and that he’d have to go back and see if it was still there. He rattled on and on about what having a little girl would mean. Rachel only managed to smile and nod until they got back to the apartment.

“Rachel,” Kurt said as they walked through the door. It was the first time he’d spoken since they left the doctor’s office, “What do you want to do? With the baby, I mean.”

Rachel paused. No one had asked her that before. She’d asked herself that numerous times. When she realized that she was pregnant, when Jesse tossed her to the side like a cheap whore, when she lost her job, when she lost her apartment, when she was sure that Kurt and Blaine were going to send her back down to the streets. But no one, not even her doctor, had asked her what she was going to do.

“I-I don’t know,” Rachel said sinking into one of the chairs around the kitchen table. She was tired from the little bit she had done today, “I honestly have no idea.”

Blaine walked over to stand next to her, a smile on his face as he put his hand down on her shoulder, “Well we’ve got plenty of time to figure it out,” he told her.

Rachel thought about correcting Blaine. They only had four months until the baby arrived and that certainly didn’t feel like plenty of time to make the most important decision of her life. But Rachel’s mind just kept playing Blaine’s words over and over. We’ve. We’ve. We’ve. Hearing that had opened up something that Rachel had been trying to fight to keep closed, but that Blaine, with his endless kindness had opened with just a single word. Rachel almost rushed to the bedroom to hide, but kept the wave of tears that threatened from falling from her eyes. With that one, contracted word, Rachel felt something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

* * *

Wednesday had been a particularly bad day for Kurt. He’d worked through his lunch break to make sure that Isabelle had everything she needed for her two o’clock and then a crisis erupted ten minutes before he was supposed to leave that kept him in the office for another hour. And though he almost singlehandedly had corrected the problem with the images for the website, he also had to text Blaine and canceled the dinner plans they’d had.

Kurt hated canceling on Blaine but he knew that his boyfriend would be waiting for him at home and that was enough for him to hurry home as soon as he could get away. He entered the apartment and immediately heard the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen. He put his keys into the front pocket of his bag and set it beside the door and walked further into the apartment. Entering the kitchen, Kurt found Blaine and Rachel sitting at the table, puzzle pieces spread out in front of them. The soundtrack to West Side Story was playing on the stereo and they were both singing along to America when Rachel noticed Kurt.

“Hey, Kurt,” Rachel said bubbly as she placed a piece down on the table, linking it together with its match.

“What’s going on in here?” Kurt asked going to stand next to Blaine, leaning down and kissing his boyfriend on the cheek.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Blaine said, “But we ordered Chinese.”

“But we had plans, Blaine.”

“I know we were supposed to go out, but we missed our reservation and I thought it would be nice if we hung out with Rachel tonight.”

“So this is my fault,” Kurt said flatly.

“No,” Blaine said turning so he could look at her head on, “I just thought--”

“Forget it,” Kurt said walking over to grab his bag by the front door and then head to the bedroom, half-heartedly slamming the door shut behind him so that it didn’t actually close all the way.

He’d had enough. It had been three weeks and he wanted his life back. He as twenty-five and all he wanted was to come home to his boyfriend every day and do lazy things with him. It was completely selfish but he didn’t want to have to share his time with Blaine with anyone else. Especially Rachel.

Blaine walked in the bedroom and shut the door behind him.

“What is wrong with you,” Blaine asked. He wasn’t really angry, Kurt could tell, but Kurt’s suddenly outburst had definitely confused him.

“Nothing, Blaine,” Kurt said, the anger still rolling through him as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

“You’re a terrible liar when you’re upset,” Blaine said folding his arms across his chest, “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong so we can get on with our night?”

“Our night with Rachel,” Kurt said as if it were a proper explanation.

“This is about Rachel,” Blaine questioned.

“No. Yes. No. Not really. Kind of,” Kurt said, “I just want things to go back to the way they were. I want to spend the nights we both don’t bring work home together and not with our new pregnant sidekick.”

“Do you want me to throw her out,” Blaine asked, “Is that what you want me to do, Kurt?”

Kurt deflated a bit, “No. Of course not. But this was supposed to be a temporary thing and it feels kind of permanent.”

“Why shouldn’t it be?”

“Are you really asking me that?”

“Yes,” Blaine said moving to stand in front of Kurt, his arms no longer across his chest but at his side, “She’s my friend Kurt. And I don’t think I can just ask her to stay somewhere else while this is happening to her because I don’t think she has anywhere else to go. She needs a friend, Kurt. And it doesn’t look like she had a whole lot of real ones right now.”

“That doesn’t mean she can have full reign of our apartment all day, every day. Or that you need to continue to bend over backwards for her when she only recently was acting like your friend,” Kurt said, “I love that you’re trying to help her Blaine. I love you for it. But neither of us can just let her walk in and change our lives completely.”

“We won’t.”

“We have been. Especially you,” Kurt told Blaine, “If we’re going to do this we need to have rules. For all of us.”

“Okay,” Blaine responded reaching his hand out toward Kurt, who took it without a second thought.

When they exited the bedroom, Rachel was nowhere to be seen. A moment later the door to Rachel’s bedroom opened and she came out, holding both of her bags in her hands.

“Thank you both for everything,” Rachel said the tears threatening to fall from her eyes, “It really means the world to me. But I don’t want to start any problems. I never meant to put a strain on your relationship.”

“We’d like you to stay,” Blaine said.

“But you guys were—“Rachel said gesturing towards Kurt and Blaine’s bedroom door.

“If our relationship was in danger every time we fought like that, we wouldn’t have made it this long.”

“But Kurt—“

“I’m not saying this is ideal. Not for me, not for you. But I’m not going to send you out by yourself when we have a perfectly good guest room,” Kurt said as Rachel smiled, “But we need rules.”

“Of course,” Rachel said.

“The first thing is that you need a job,” Kurt said, “or a hobby. Something that keeps you from just lounging around the apartment all day. My favorite coffee shop is hiring. You can just sit behind the counter and take orders. And if that’s too much we can look into pregnant aerobics at the gym. Something that’ll get you out at least once a week. But for you, your baby, and for us, you need to get out the apartment for more than doctor’s appointments.”

“Ok,” Rachel said nodding.

“The second rule is for all of us. Whoever is home first should cook for everyone. No more of this separate dinners thing.  If we’re going to live together, we’re going to act like it.”

“The third—“

 “The third,” Blaine interrupted, “Is that you two are going to act like you like each other. That way maybe one day you actually will. Like Kurt said, if we’re going to live together, we’re going to act like it. That goes for everything.”

Both Kurt and Rachel scowl before nodding.

“Thank you both,” Rachel said quietly, “This means everything to me.”

“It’s not a problem,” Blaine said, “Right Kurt?”

“Right,” Kurt responded immediately.

“I’m going to go lie down,” Rachel announced, “Blaine, I almost finished that book you leant me. Do you think I could—“

“I’ll bring it by in a few minutes.”

“Thanks,” Rachel said with a soft smile and turned back towards her bedroom, her bags in hand and closes the door.

A little while later, Kurt was pulling back the comforter of their bed when Blaine walked into the bedroom. As promised he’d been delivered Rachel the next book in the series that she’d started reading. They’d been friends before, but they’d grown closer to each other since Rachel started staying there. And now that she was living there, Blaine liked that he could share books and music with someone. It wasn’t that he didn’t have things to share with Kurt, but just that while Blaine and Kurt had a lot in common, there were things, like books by Richard Castle that he couldn’t share with Kurt.

“You amaze me,” Blaine said putting a hand on Kurt’s waist.

“You hate Rachel, we had a fight about Rachel, yet you’re still letting her live here.”

“I don’t like her. It’s different.”

“Then why are you letting her stay?”

“I can be a bitch, but I’m not made of stone. Blaine, she needs our help and it’s not really going to cost us anything or put our lives at risk.  So, this can be something that we do.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Kurt said, “However, she’s going to hear us when we have sex.”

“Do you care?”

“Not enough to prevent me from ravishing you.”

“You talk so dirty Mr. Hummel.”

“Shut up and kiss me before I kick you and Jennifer Love Hewitt out of this apartment.”

With a smile, Blaine did just that.

 


	4. 3 Months Until Madeline

With a week left until Thanksgiving, and the start of the holiday season, the New York air held a chill that warned it’s residents that winter weather was fast approaching; although it wouldn’t be officially winter for another month.

Since officially moving in with Kurt and Blaine, Rachel had gotten the job proposed by Kurt at Edna’s Coffee House. It wasn’t much, just a tiny coffee shop that also sold a variety of pastries that was close enough to a Starbucks that you could easily choose to go there instead. But the atmosphere inside was welcoming and there was always a steady flow of customers in the mornings and around lunch time. Rachel sat on a stood behind the counter and greeted every customer with a smile until the rush passed. It was by no means her dream job, but she liked getting to interact with people. She slowly became acquainted with Jeanine, a regular who came in every morning for coffee for the office that she worked in. She’d commented once about how positively glowing Rachel was as she sat behind the counter. Her smile had been genuine and it had made Rachel’s week. So while it was far from a starring role on Broadway, Rachel was content with the position given her situation.

Edna, the owner, was a lovely woman in her mid-fifties. Rachel listened on her first day as Edna told her the story of how she opened the shop about ten years ago after her husband lost his battle with cancer. She didn’t care about being as successful as Starbucks, but it had always been her dream to own a coffee shop and though the circumstances around the opportunity were tragic, when she saw that it was possible, she jumped at the chance. 

Edna was very accommodating to anything that Rachel needed.  She liked Rachel. Had even told her that if there was anything she needed that all she had to do was ask. Which was probably why Rachel was so easily able to convince Edna to allow Rachel to perform  once a week on the tiny stage that sat in the middle of the shop, but was hardly used by anyone.  Edna wouldn’t have to pay Rachel, she was just collect tips and she’d do it in the evening after her regular shift was over. From the moment Edna agreed, Rachel threw her arms around the woman in a show of gratitude and began spending countless hours in her room, flipping through the collection of sheet music that she’d been curating since high school.

She needed to consider her audience and the fact that there was only a piano and that she would need to accompany herself.  But it was New York City so she assumed there would be little complaint if she included big Broadway numbers along with some piano arrangements of some classics. When she’d finally decided on a final set list on Saturday night she hurried into the living room where Kurt and Blaine had both been sitting working silently on different projects, the TV on in the background, to show them.  She needed their approval as much as she needed the approval of her audience.

“This is great, Rach,” Blaine said handing it over to Kurt.

“You think so?” Rachel asked, afraid now that Kurt had his eyes on it.

“Yeah,” Kurt offered looking up from the hand written page, “These are some great songs for your voice.”

“I know, right,” Rachel squealed, “So you’ll come right? Friday night at Edna’s? You’ll both come?”

Blaine turned a questioning eye toward Kurt knowing that they had a date night planned for Friday. They hadn’t made any specific plans yet, but after the argument they’d had the month before, Blaine made sure that, especially when Rachel was involved, that Blaine consult with Kurt before making any plans for them.

“I could do coffee and music Friday night,” Kurt said with a smile in Blaine’s direction.

The wattage of the smile on Rachel’s face tripled with Kurt’s words and she leaned over and quickly hugged them both before scurrying back into the bedroom complaining about how she had nothing to wear. 

Sunday morning Rachel padded quietly into the kitchen, surprised, but thankful that she found Kurt sitting at the kitchen table, alone, with a cup of coffee and flipping through a magazine.

“Morning, Kurt,” Rachel said softly assuming Blaine was still asleep.

“Morning, Rachel,” Kurt said before taking a sip of his coffee.

They were quiet as Rachel put on the kettle to boil the water for her tea. It wasn’t an uneasy silent, but it was comfortable and it gave Rachel the courage she needed to do what she’d been thinking about all night.  It was true that she had nothing to wear. As the little girl inside her grew, the selection of clothes Rachel had with her that fit was shrinking. She wasn’t making a lot at Edna’s but she’d been saving almost every penny of it and she finally had enough to buy a couple of things so she wasn’t stuck in sweatpants and t-shirts whenever she wasn’t in her work uniform. But she was going to need some help.

“Kurt,” Rachel said getting Kurt’s attention again. She hesitated whether or not she should sit down with him at the table but thought against it in case things didn’t go as she’d hoped, “Can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure,” Kurt said suspiciously, “Is everything alright?”

“Yes. I-I was just hoping—I mean if you would be willing to—go shopping with me for my opening night at Edna’s?”

“Me?”

“Who else really? I mean, fashion is your career and I don’t have a lot of money and I thought you would know where to get the deals. I need new clothes anyway but I want to get something special for Friday night. Something that doesn’t make me look like the girl who accidentally got pregnant by a married man and now her life is falling apart and all she can afford are sweats. It may be a far cry from a Broadway stage, but it’s special. And I want to look and feel special.”

Kurt was only quiet for a moment but it was long enough to send Rachel into an internal panic. He wasn’t going to help her. She’d just convinced herself that she should just walk away when Kurt spoke, “Can you be ready in half an hour?”

“Yeah,” Rachel said, “Of course.”

“Then go get ready. I know exactly where we can go.”

“Really?” Rachel questioned, “You don’t have something else you need to be doing today?”

“I was going to wake Blaine up and make him come with me to get some things from the store,” Kurt told her, “But if you’re willing to take a little detour, we can let him sleep a little bit longer.”

“Yeah,” Rachel said surprised, relieved, grateful, “Thank you, Kurt.”

Rachel rushed over and wrapped her arms around Kurt before scurrying back into her room. The tea pot left unheated on the stove.

* * *

An hour later, Kurt and Rachel were inside Motherhood Maternity and as Rachel checked the tags on a top she thought was cute, she was happy she could finally get some things that fit her properly and she could finally go out of the apartment without feeling self-conscious.

“So,” Kurt asked as he began to go through a rock of tops, “what were you thinking?”

Rachel turned to Kurt and shrugged, “I don’t know. Something simple.”

“Come on, Rachel. I’ve seen the way you dressed before. Your taste wasn’t horrible,” Kurt told her, “There’s room for improvement, but you’re not hopeless.”

“You’re judging me.”

“It’s my job to judge the taste other people have in fashion,” Kurt offered, “Were you thinking about pants and a fun top or…”

“A dress would nice,” Rachel said, “I’ve spent so much time in sweatpants it’ll be nice to not have to wear pants at all.”

Kurt’s eyebrows raised and Rachel shook her head, a smile on her face, “You know what I mean.”

Half an hour later, Rachel had tried on four dresses and none of them lived up to Rachel’s standards, or Kurt’s. The red one was too long; the blue one made her look like she’d was preparing to give birth to a teenager; the yellow one made both of them cringe and the blue and purple one looked like something Kim Kardashian would have worn during her pregnancy. Needless to say they were getting nowhere with their hunt for something special.

But then something caught Kurt’s eye and he knew that they had been trying too hard, and that the perfect dress was something every woman already had in her closet. Rachel just needed one that fit. A little black dress. It was the easiest way to make the punch that Rachel was trying to make. And with the right hair and make-up, Rachel would be the best dressed pregnant woman since Angelina Jolie.

“This is it,” Kurt said walking over to the rack and flipping through until he found the size Rachel needed and then turned back towards Rachel, “Go. Dressing room. Now. I’ll be out here choosing jewelry.”

Bewildered, Rachel took the dress from Kurt and disappeared into the fitting room. Two minutes later Kurt had found the most perfect pair of silver teardrop warring with a sapphire jewel in the middle when Rachel began shouting his name.

“Kurt Hummel,” Rachel bellowed, “you get over here right now.”

Kurt took the earrings into his hand and walked back over towards the fitting room. Just as Kurt arrived, Rachel stepped out in her black, sleeveless, Peplum maternity dress and a Kurt instantly smiled.

_Bingo!_

“This is perfect,” Rachel said as she spun in front of the mirror, “Kurt this is absolutely perfect.”

“It absolutely is,” Kurt said watching her in the mirror.

Rachel stopped spinning and met Kurt’s eye in the mirror, ‘Thank you, Kurt. I mean it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Kurt replied.

Rachel took in her reflection one more time before going back into the dressing room.

* * *

On Friday night when Rachel took the stage, she quickly introduced herself, though very few of the customers were paying attention to her and then sat down at the piano. She and Edna had created signs advertising the shop’s live music event and there were definitely a few more customers than they usually would have gotten on a Friday night. She looked out at the tables of strangers and smiled when she saw Blaine, sitting alone. She wondered where Kurt was. Maybe he’d ditched her for better things and Blaine, the amazing friend that he was, came by himself anyway. If that was the case, Rachel would feel guilty, but Blaine didn’t look sad and he when he winked at her she took a deep breath and started playing.

She opened with New York State of Mind, because she didn’t want to scare away who wasn’t in love with musical theatre. She knew that if she was a great singer, and she was, that she could draw them in with her voice and a familiar tune and it wouldn’t matter what she sang after that, she’d have them eating out of the palm of her hand.

And she does.

By the time she’d finished Only Exception, she had toe cute couple in the corner holding hands, but watching her. So she transitioned into What I Did for Love and she knew she had at least two pairs of eyes that weren’t Blaine’s on her and it made her happy. It wasn’t the rush of hundreds of people on their feet, applauding, but it was enough for tonight. 

Rachel noticed the door to the coffee shop open and looked up from the piano, she saw Kurt walk into the shop, a much taller man behind him. The tall stranger was handsome, with brown hair and was dressed in jeans and a scarlet OSU hoodie.  He followed Kurt to the table where Blaine sat and when Kurt pulled Blaine’s attention away from Rachel, Blaine stood up and hugged the stranger and then all three of them sat down and Rachel smiled when all three pairs of eyes settled on her.

Rachel finished her set, all seven songs, and smiled and thanked her audience and left the stage, grateful to hear the applause from people other than Kurt, Blaine and their very attractive friend. There was even a five dollar bill in the tip jar. It wasn’t much but it was her first night.

“Rachel,” Blaine said standing up as she approached the table, engulfing her in a hug, “You were amazing.”

“Thank you,” Rachel said confidently. She had no reason to be modest about her performance, “next time you should sing with me.”

“We’ll see,” Blaine said, “I’m not as good as I used to be.”

“Nonsense. But really. Thank you for coming, all of you,” Rachel said and then turned her eyes towards the stranger, “And who is this?”

“Rachel, this is Finn Hudson, my brother,” Kurt said, “Finn this is Rachel Berry. She’s living with us.”

“Cool,” Finn said waving at Rachel who just smiled, “You were like, really good.”

“Thank you, Finn,” Rachel said with a wide smile, “I appreciate you coming.”

“Are you done here,” Blaine asked.

“No,” Rachel said, “Jessica called in sick and Edna needs someone to stay and close.”

“Are you sure you should be out that late?” Blaine asked.

“I’ll be fine, Dad,” Rachel teased then turned back to Finn, “You’re staying with us—I mean Kurt and Blaine, Finn?”

“Uh, yeah,” Finn said nodding enthusiastically.

“On the couch unfortunately,” Kurt said, “because he didn’t bother to tell me he was coming in early for Thanksgiving.”

“It’s cool, dude, “Finn said, “I just wanted to get out of there. My mom is driving me crazy because she keeps asking me what I’m going to do now that I’ve graduated college.”

“You graduated over a year ago, Finn,” Kurt said, “You have a degree, you should use it.”

“What is your degree in,” Rachel asked.

“Education,” Finn explained, “I want to be a teacher.”

“And if you don’t look for a position soon, you’ll be getting your tenure around the time you retire,” Kurt commented.

Finn’s response to his brother’s nagging was to roll his eyes, causing Rachel to laugh.

“We should get going,” Blaine said, “We’ll see you at home, Rachel.”

Rachel nodded and hugged Blaine and even Kurt then smiled and waved at Finn before heading to the counter to finish the shift.

“She’s pregnant,” Finn said.

“Yes, Finn. She is,” Kurt said pushing at his brother’s shoulders in an attempt to prod the bigger man towards the door, “Let’s go.”

* * *

By the time they walked through the door of the apartment, Kurt wondered how every man in his life, both gay and straight, seemed to be absolutely enamored by Rachel Berry. It was bad enough that Blaine treated her like she was carrying the next messiah, but now that Finn had met the great Rachel Berry, he too seemed to be convinced that she hung the moon and the stars. The entire way back from Edna’s Finn had fired off questions in all directions, but they all started with Rachel Berry. Where did you meet her? How come she’s living with you? The baby isn’t either of yours is it?

Kurt just rolled his eyes at his brother’s stupidity.

Rachel came home a little while later, audibly exhausted, and threw herself onto the couch between Kurt and Finn.

“So Finn, it was very nice of you to come in early to see your brother,” Rachel said with a flirtatious smile, her hand on her swollen belly. Six months pregnant and Rachel Berry was still able to turn on the charm.

“Uh, yeah,” Finn said, “I like coming to New York and since I had some time off I thought I’d come in and surprise him.”

“That’s amazing,” Rachel said.

Yawning, Blaine stood up from the couch, his fingers entwined with Kurt’s, “We’re going to go to bed.”

“Night,” Finn said.

Kurt echoed the sentiment and followed Blaine who pulled at their joined hands and led them towards the bedroom. Just before they reached the door, Kurt stopped and turned back to Finn and Rachel who were both still seated on the couch.

“Rachel, aren’t you going to go to bed too? You were just saying how you’d had such a long day,” Kurt said.

“In a little while,” Rachel responded not giving any sign that would suggest she was getting up, “I’d like to hang out with Finn for a while. I mean, if he doesn’t mind.”

“Uh, no,” Finn said, “That’s cool.”

Kurt’s eyes widened and Blaine once again said goodnight while pulling a stunned Kurt into the bedroom.

When Kurt and Blaine were both changed and ready for bed, Kurt sunk into the mattress and sighed.

“What do you think they’re doing out there,” Kurt asked.

Blaine laughed, “Talking.”

“You think?”

“They just met.”

“Rachel sleeps with married men,” Kurt said, “And Finn’s an idiot.”

“You’re judging,” Blaine said crawling into bed next to his boyfriend.

“I’m just stating that it isn’t above either of them to do something stupid.”

“At least he can’t get her pregnant,” Blaine offered as a form of comfort.

Kurt rolled his eyes and leaned over and planted a quick kiss on Blaine’s lips before muttering goodnight and doing his best to fall asleep without imagining what would possibly be happening in his living room.

* * *

Kurt and Blaine hadn’t figured out how they were going explain Rachel to Burt and Carole by the time they arrived the day before Thanksgiving. Rachel was staying in town and had told her fathers that she wasn’t going to be able to get away from work for the entire weekend. And when they offered to come to her, she had to hold back the tears as she told them that it wouldn’t be a good idea since she wouldn’t have much time to spend with them. She’d been relieved when they accepted her excuses and stayed home for the holiday. So that left a very pregnant woman in their house that they needed to explain.

After much debate, and several bad ideas, they just decided on the truth, over lunch and without all the details and without Rachel who had thought it best if she stayed home. As long as Burt and Carole didn’t start asking nosy questions they would be okay. And Kurt’s parents weren’t like that at all. Burt cared little about digging into the personal lives of strangers and Carole was always polite and if she asked questions, they would certainly about the baby and how Rachel was feeling; nothing that could possibly expose the scandal that led to the child’s conception.

On Thanksgiving Carole and Burt came over from their hotel early and Kurt and Carole began cooking dinner. Blaine tried to help, but with a kiss on the cheek, Kurt pushed him out of the kitchen. As much as Blaine tried, they’d learned from many a mistake that Blaine was better at eating than he was cooking. Especially when he came to big meals like the Thanksgiving feast that was cooking in their small kitchen.

About mid-morning Blaine disappeared into Rachel’s bedroom where she’d been hiding most of the morning, not wanting to be in the way. He appeared a little while later, Rachel behind him looking gloomy as she sat down on the couch next to Finn, trying to distract herself with the football game that was on television.

Finn and Rachel had spent a lot of time together since Finn had arrived in New York. They’d taken several day trips to different places around the city that Kurt had taken him to before, but Finn had never had such an excitement for what he was being shown as he did when he was with Rachel.

“Why don’t you show me around like this,” Finn had said late one afternoon while Rachel was napping.

“Because I can’t keep your attention for more than five minutes,” Kurt had countered, “It seems the key to getting you to focus is a pair of boobs.”

Finn had just shrugged and went to the couch.

Despite the addition of Rachel, dinner passed without anything out of the ordinary for the Hummel-Hudson-Anderson clan.

Burt filled everyone in on the latest at the garage. Steve, one of the guys that had been working since Burt had taken over the shop from his father was retiring at the end of the year; but other than that it was business as usual.

Kurt caught everyone up on the latest gossip from Vogue and told everyone, including Blaine, for the first time about a promotion opportunity that had had after the New Year. It was highly competitive, but Kurt was working hard and he thought he had a good chance.

“Why didn’t you say anything to me,” Blaine asked his hand on his boyfriend’s knee.

“I was afraid to jinx it,” Kurt explained, “But I have a really good feeling about it now.”

Burt reminded him that no one keeps the Hummels down.

Blaine talked about the kids at the school and how he loved watching them get so immersed in music. It was what he loved most about it.  And when prompted by Carole, Blaine mentioned that he’d been writing music again; something new, something he wouldn’t elaborate on despite the pressure from everyone around the table.

“It’s not ready for an audience yet,” Blaine said.

Not really having much going on in his life aside from her pregnancy, Rachel shared how much she loved getting to perform at Edna’s and how the little girl inside her was keeping her up at night. But she didn’t mind a bit.

“Have you decided on a name,” Carole asked whose intentions were pure but whose words erased the smile on Rachel’s face.

“I-I don’t want to name her until I decide what I’m going to do after she gets here,” Rachel said bashfully, her eyes focused on the table.

The tension in the room grew, and for once, Finn picked up on it quickly and began rattling off the things he was doing back in Ohio, even though it consisted mostly of playing video games and working in the garage with Burt.

The sun was just setting as they finished dinner and Rachel announced that she and Finn were going for a walk. Blaine and Kurt chatted with Carole while they cleared the table and did the dishes, then slumped into chairs around the table, the constant busyness of the day finally over.

“So,” Carole said, “Finn and Rachel seem kind of smitten, don’t you think?”

Kurt groaned and Blaine stayed quiet and when Carole realized she wasn’t going to get much out of them regarding that twosome, she changed her approached.

“Have you two given any thought about marriage,” Carole asked.

Burt laughed from his place on the couch and Kurt and Blaine exchanged a look. They hadn’t brought it up seriously in a long time.

“Leave ‘em alone, Carole,” Burt called, “When they’re ready to get married, they’ll get married.”

Both boys added that conversation being dropped to the list of things they were grateful for that year.

A little while later Finn and Rachel returned from their walk and Finn immediately joined Burt on the couch to catch the end of the game and Rachel joined the group around the table. Blaine had conveniently left the table as the topic of Black Friday shopping came up and Carole rattled off a list of thing she wanted to get the next morning: gifts for her sister and her nephews, and Kurt made suggestions of places where they could find the best items at the best price.

Halfway through Kurt’s explanation that he had some designs that would work perfectly as gifts for Carole’s sister, Rachel made a small, pained noise and Kurt, Carole, and even Blaine’s attention turned towards Rachel who was wincing, her hand on her belly.

 “Rachel,” Kurt asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I-I don’t know,” Rachel said, “But it h-hurts.”

Carole, a registered nurse, immediately sprang into action, “I don’t know if we have time to do this any other way,” she said, “someone call an ambulance.”

Blaine reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled his phone out while Burt and Finn both stood and watched, motionless, the football game forgotten in the background.

When Blaine got off the phone with the dispatcher, he rushed to Rachel’s side, throwing himself into the chair next to her, one arm going around her shoulders, the other reaching over to hold her hand in his. Kurt could only watch as Rachel, tears of pain and of fear streaming down her face as she tried to breathe through the pain, let her head fall onto Blaine’s shoulder.

“Carole,” Blaine said, “What’s wrong?”

“It could be a number of things,” Carole explained, “Or it could be nothing. But it’s a good idea to get her to the hospital and have her checked out.”

* * *

Forty-five minutes later Carole, Burt, Blaine, Kurt and Finn all sat in the waiting room of the hospital. There were more people than Blaine expected but he’d heard horror stories about Thanksgiving dinners gone totally wrong and thought that maybe he should have expected it. Especially in New York City.

He’d sat down next to Kurt, their hands entwined but no one had really spoken since Rachel had been admitted. That was until Burt leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

“So which one of you wants to tell me what’s going on?”

Blaine looked quizzically at Burt and then stole a glance to Kurt whose face held the same bewilderment.

“I’m sure the doctor will be out shortly,” Kurt said.

“No not about this. I mean about Rachel living at your apartment. And why you didn’t tell us about her.”

And after a deep breath, Blaine told everyone about how he knew Rachel, how she’d shown on soaked at their door, and how neither of them could bring themselves to send her out on her own, pregnant, with no one to turn to.

“So, this baby she’s carrying,” Burt asked, “it’s not for you?”

“No, Dad,” Kurt said, “Rachel Berry showed up already very much pregnant.”

“So what is she going to do,” Carole asked.

“I don’t think she’s figured it out yet,” Blaine said, “Every time I try to ask her about it, she just gets quiet and changes the subject.”

“She’s running out of time,” Burt said.

“I think she’s dealing with it on her own,” Blaine said, “And for now, I won’t force her to talk about and it and we can’t force her to choose. She’s running out of time, but she still has it.”

“Kurt,” Burt said, “isn’t this the girl you told me that you hated.”

Kurt groaned, “I don’t hate her. We just don’t get along. And before you say anything it’s a mutual inability to tolerate each other most of the time.”

“But she’s living with you.”

“We’ve managed to remain civil.”

“You two are good boys,” Burt responded, “Men. Both mom and baby are lucky to have you.”

Kurt turned to smile at Blaine, reaching over and linking their fingers together.

It was another thirty minutes before Rachel joined them in the waiting room, clutching her coat against her chest, looking utterly embarrassed. Blaine rushed to her side immediately, followed, surprisingly, by Kurt. And right behind them was Finn.

“I’m okay,” Rachel said putting her hand on her stomach, “We’re okay.”

“What happened?” Blaine asked.

“Just a little stress,” Rachel said, “I have to stay off my feet as much as possible for the next week but other than that everything will okay.”

“What did the doctor say about working,” Kurt asked.

“He said if I can afford to not work than I should take it easy until the baby is born. But I can’t really afford to so I just have to take it easy. Maybe I’ll see if I can switch to the later shift when it’s not so busy.”

 “Well figure everything out,” was all that Blaine said in response and Kurt knew that his boyfriend wasn’t going to make Rachel go back to work.

But most surprising was the fact that Kurt agreed. He wasn’t going to force Rachel back to work when it could be a risk to her and her baby. Maybe it happened while they’d been dress shopping or maybe it had happened when Rachel had cried out in pain, but somewhere in the last couple of days, something changed. Despite Kurt’s tireless efforts at keeping his life as normal as possible, things had shifted and was now abundantly clear.

He cared about Rachel Berry.

 


	5. 2 Months Until Madeline

Once Thanksgiving came and went, it was time for the mad dash towards Christmas that always managed to arrive too quickly and not quickly enough at the same time.

As they began to cut through December, Kurt began working longer, more stressful hours at work. He’d apologized to Blaine on numerous occasions over the last few weeks when he needed to stay late and was, in return, forced to cancel their plans. But Blaine understood. Kurt was working hard for the promotion opportunity that he had been presented with. It was his dream job and there was nothing Blaine would do to stand in the way of Kurt’s dreams. Especially since it gave him plenty of extra time to work on his own.

While Kurt was working, Blaine locked himself in their bedroom, the keyboard in front of him, working furiously on the songs that he’d been creating. Blaine worked them and worked them until the melody, the soft instrumentals that were unlike anything he’d ever done before, were perfect. But he was stuck on the lyrics. He knew the emotions that he was trying to express, but the right words to do so escaped him completely. It was frustrating, but Blaine knew he’d find the perfect words eventually.

When Blaine wasn’t working in his bedroom, he tried to spend more time with Rachel. Everything had been such a whirlwind since she moved in to the apartment that he hadn’t been able to spend much time with her that didn’t involve something baby related. He’d never seen her so shocked than the night he came out of the bedroom and asked her to go to the movies with him.

And maybe she wasn’t shocked so much as relieved that Blaine wasn’t asking her a baby related question. Since her scare on Thanksgiving, Blaine had begun to make sure, quite obsessively, that Rachel and the baby were okay. And it was nice when he finally stopped to think about her. Because a lot of the time, Rachel felt like no one really saw her anymore, just the baby inside her.

Rachel appreciated all of Blaine’s efforts, she really did. She appreciated that he tried to make more time for her while Kurt was working late, and even after he started getting home at a reasonable hour he still continued to make time for her.

As the holidays got closer, and she had to lie to her parents once again about her busy schedule, Rachel became more grateful to have Kurt and Blaine in her life. They’d given her a place to stay, found her a job, and stayed by her side in the hospital. And although she and Kurt never really saw eye-to-eye, Rachel appreciated him the most. He’d done so much for her that she was no longer sure a simple thank you should suffice. Everything he’d done for her, the dress shopping, his genuine concern for her when she’d gone in to the hospital, that all meant more to her than them ever becoming friends. It was something so much more than that.

Somehow, after Thanksgiving, Edna allowed Rachel to stay on at the coffee shop two nights a week, strictly as entertainment. Edna told Rachel that the few performances that she’d done led to a huge demand for more frequent entertainment. Rachel didn’t believe that was true for a second. Rachel knew that it had less to do with a need and more to do with a promised conversation that Rachel saw Edna and Blaine having when Rachel had been clear to return to work, a week after her scare.  But despite the reason, it gave Rachel something to do a couple nights a week instead of moping around Kurt and Blaine’s apartment (she still couldn’t really think of any of it as hers) while Blaine was in his room plucking away at the keyboard.

Blaine was a good guy, probably the best guy she knew who wasn’t her dads. That was why she showed up at his door that night. And maybe sometimes he could be a little overbearing, like when he called her four times during the day while he was at work to make sure she was alright and that she had eaten, but his heart was in the right place and it was nice to know someone cared.

Because Jesse St. James certainly did not.

Rachel had tried several times to get in contact with him; to remind him that the baby growing instead her was real and was _his._  But her calls were never returned and her text messages went unanswered.

This was why she found herself both shocked and confused when the same Jesse St. James who had been avoiding her, walked into Edna’s one night just as she was finishing her set, a few days before Christmas. He walked silently up to the piano, dropped a hundred dollar bill into the tip jar and then turned around and walked over to an empty table by the door and sat down.

Despite Jesse’s presence, Rachel ended her set with a smile and a Happy Holidays before grabbing the tip jar from the piano and walking over to the counter without looking in Jesse’s direction. Once her back was turned away from the handful of customers in the café, Rachel’s smile disappeared as an unhealthy rage began to build inside her.  Rachel took a deep breath and reached inside the jar, pulling the bill Jesse had contributed out and marched over to the table where he sat.

“What are you doing,” Rachel questioned holding up the bill.

“Tipping the entertainment,” Jesse said looking up at her, his face emotionless, as if what he’d done had been so common.

“What do you want, Jesse?”

“To talk,” Jesse said gesturing for Rachel to sit down in the seat across from him, “Like you asked me to.”

Rachel ignored the request, “That was weeks ago.”

“Better late than never,” Jesse said and Rachel fought the urge to smack the smug look off his face.

Rachel stood silently as Jesse’s eyes met hers and the pressure began to build behind her eyes. She wouldn’t cry, not now. She’d done her crying over Jesse; she’d done her crying over her situation. So why now that Jesse was in front of her did the wound she’d been trying so hard to heal felt wide open and as painful as it ever was.

“Go get your coat,” Jesse said, “I’ll get us a cab and we can go back to your apartment. I went there this morning and you didn’t answer.”

“Probably because I don’t live there anymore,” Rachel said, her anger dripping from her tongue, “I lost my job remember? When you gave my part to someone else.”

A flash of something Rachel couldn’t place flashed in Jesse’s eyes, “Where are you living,” he asked.

“Why do you care, Jesse,” Rachel asked, trying to push away the tiny part of her that still wanted him to care.

“Rachel, I-I—“

“Save it,” Rachel said and turned to walk away, “Go back to your wife.”

But Jesse reached out and grabbed a hold of Rachel’s arm, it was a firm hold, but not forceful, “No, please,” he pleaded, “Let me take you home, wherever that is. And we can talk about this. We should talk about this.”

Rachel knew she shouldn’t. She should just call herself a cab and head back to the apartment, alone. Kurt and Blaine were out doing some last minute Christmas shopping and wouldn’t be home until later. She should go home and watch whatever Lifetime Christmas movie was on and just relax or cry. But Jesse was in front of her, pleading with her to talk to him, looking like the man she thought she’d fallen in love with; the man who once held all the keys to her future. And as always, when it came to Jesse St. James, Rachel never really was able to do what she should.

* * *

Finn was thankful that he’d saved Kurt’s very thorough instructions on how to navigate by himself from the airport to his and Blaine’s apartments. Without it, Finn would not have been able to get there without spoiling the surprise of him showing up or Christmas. He’d just been to New York for Thanksgiving but the city was still as stunning as ever. A far cry from the constant dullness of Lima.

As he traveled the streets in the back of a cab, two suitcases, one completely full of gifts in the trunk, Finn recognized a bunch of the pictures Rachel had been sending him over the last couple of weeks. Since Thanksgiving, he and Rachel had been texting and occasionally, when Kurt and Blaine weren’t home, they’d Skype. Finn was beginning to really like Rachel and when he found out that Kurt, Blaine and Rachel were staying in New York for Christmas, he felt an immediate need to join them in the city that never sleeps.

When the cab pulled up in front of the apartment, Finn paid the driver as he handed him his bags and headed inside. There was a tiny elevator that brought him to the fourth floor apartment, but he paused just outside the elevator doors when he arrived.

He could hear voices, loud voices, and one of them sounded like it belonged to someone who was crying. Finn took a few cautious steps towards Kurt and Blaine’s apartment, aware that there were only two apartments per floor and he’d just seen an older couple come out of the door to Finn’s left. Kurt and Blaine’s apartment was on the right. Another thunderous shout came from Kurt and Blaine’s apartment but the voice most definitely did not belong to either Kurt or Blaine.

When Finn tried to he door it was unlocked and he as he pushed the door open the shouting suddenly stopped. With hesitant footsteps, Finn entered the apartment.  He’d only taken a few steps when he saw them both. He recognized Rachel where she sat on the couch, curled into herself, the tear tracks running down her face where washed away by fresh tears.

But the man who was standing in front of Rachel, towering over as she sat crying on the couch did not look familiar. He was dressed in a suit that Finn though Kurt would appreciate, but was looking at Finn with wide eyes, as if he’d been caught in the act of some heinous crime.

“Who are you?”

Finn’s brow creased, “I think I should be asking you that question.”

“I’m Jesse St. James,” he said. Finn knew that name, “Who are you?”

Finn ignored Jesse’s question, “What’s going on here? Rachel are you okay?”

“That is none of your concern,” Jesse said.

“It is if I can hear you two shouting from the hallway,” Finn said, his anger beginning to boil, “And Rachel is clearly upset.”

“Finn,” Rachel said softly, “I’m okay.”

“You need to leave,” Finn said looking Jesse square in the eye.

“Do you live here,” Jesse asked.

“Well—no,” Finn answered, “But this is my brother’s apartment.”

“Then I don’t think you have the right to ask me to leave,” Jesse said.

“Just go, Jesse,” Rachel shouted getting up and walking as quickly as she could into her bedroom slamming the door shut behind her.

“Get out,” Finn said through his teeth, “I don’t know what you’ve done to her, but she doesn’t need you. I don’t ever want to see you around her again.”

“I see Rachel’s gotten herself a protector,” Jesse said walking towards the door, “She’s too ambitious for her own good. She’ll never love anyone like she loves the stage. Not that baby and not you. It’s only a matter of time before you all see her for who she really is.”

Finn moved towards Jesse, ready to introduce his fist to his face but Jesse slipped out of the door before he could get close enough.  Finn decided he wasn’t worth going after.

“Go away, Finn,” Rachel shouted, “Just leave me alone.”

So he did.

When Kurt and Blaine got home, surprised to see Finn standing in their kitchen, a little while later, Finn briefed them on what he’d walked in on.

“That guy’s a jerk,” Finn told them, “I should have hit him.”

“I’m going to go check on her,” Blaine said.

After a few moments of coaxing, Blaine disappeared behind the door to Rachel’s room. When he emerged an hour later, he was alone.

* * *

When Kurt and Blaine decided that they were going to stay in New York, with Rachel, for Christmas, they were not surprised at all by Burt and Carole’s understanding. Kurt was really lucky to have some of the best parents someone could ask for. What they’d been surprised by was the unexpected appearance of Finn. But it turned out to be a very good thing, especially for Rachel.

Rachel, after everything with Jesse, had been rather melancholy when she exited her room the next morning. But seeing Finn at the kitchen table seemed to cause her to brighten up just a bit. Kurt had mixed feelings about Rachel and Finn doing much interacting, but Blaine knew that Rachel had been through a lot lately, and was glad to see something, someone, could give Rachel a little light in her life when it had been so dark lately.

On Christmas morning, the four of them gathered around the little tree Kurt and Blaine had setup in their living room to exchange gifts.

Once everything was opened and thank yous were distributed, Rachel cleared her throat, “I have an announcement to make.”

“Is everything alright,” Finn asked immediate and Rachel smiled at his.

“Everything is fine,” Rachel said, “But I’ve made a decision about what I want to do with my—with this little girl.”

Everyone quietly watched her, waiting for her next words.

“I’ve decided that I am going to put her up for adoption.  I’m clearly not in a place to take care of a baby and my career—I’m not willing to give that up. And if I can’t put my career in front of my child, I can’t have a child,” Rachel explained, “Besides Jesse has offered me a lot of money if me and this baby disappear from his life. I-I’m not going to take it because it seems so wrong, but I have to do what’s best for everyone and that’s give her the life I can’t give her. With parents who can take care of her better than I can.”

The tears had welled up in Rachel’s eyes, but they did not fall. She’d spent do much time weighing her options but it was this that was the most beneficially for everyone involved. Jesse wanted nothing to do with Rachel or the baby and the only thing Rachel wanted was to be on a stage, to hear the applause of the crowd. She’d never get her dream if she kept this baby. She’d be working at Edna’s for the rest of her life waiting. But she had no idea what she’d be waiting for. This was the only real option she had.

Blaine nodded at her and reached over and grabbed her hand.

“I want to sing,” Rachel then exclaimed, “Someone help me up and someone put on some music. It’s time it finally felt like Christmas.”

And they did. A chorus of voices, Finn’s slightly off key, filled the apartment as the foursome sang along as Kurt switched on the radio and Last Christmas rang through the speakers.


	6. 1 Month Until Madeline

It wasn’t that Kurt didn’t realize that Blaine had been acting funny; it was just that he really didn’t think he had anything to worry about.

But boy was he wrong.

It started with Blaine constantly drifting off into his own thoughts and daydreams when he and Kurt were together. It wasn’t so much that Blaine had stopped paying attention to what they were doing that bothered Kurt, it was that he seemed so far away that the only way to get him back was for Kurt to physically shake him back into reality.  When Kurt questioned what had Blaine wrapped in his thoughts so tightly, Blaine told him that it was work or that he’d gotten lost thinking about the music that he’d been writing that he continued to be so secretive about. Kurt trusted Blaine and moved on like it was nothing.

But it turned out to be a very big something.

It wasn’t until Kurt walked into the bedroom one evening and found Blaine on his laptop, studying whatever it was that he was looking at like it was the most important information he’d ever need to know, that Kurt began to think that something might actually be wrong. The moment Blaine noticed that he was no longer alone in their bedroom, and that Kurt was actually very close to whatever it was that he was looking at, Blaine slammed the laptop shut with a panicked quickness and placed it on the table next to the bed. Just like every night, Blaine turned the light out and snuggled into bed with Kurt, his arms wrapped around his boyfriend.

“Is everything alright,” Kurt questioned.

“Everything is perfect,” Blaine said with a smile, without the hint of a lie, leaning forward and kissing Kurt softly.

“Okay,” Kurt said closing his eyes, giving into exhaustion after a long day, and relished in the warmth of the comforter and the embrace of his boyfriend.

If Blaine had been anyone else, and if Kurt and Blaine’s relationship hadn’t been built on a strong foundation of love and trust, Kurt would have been more suspicious; he would have pushed until he got the answers he needed. Kurt knew Blaine better than he knew himself and while it was clear that something was going on, he knew that Blaine would come to him eventually. And when he did, Kurt would be ready to listen.

It was another week before Blaine came clean. And when he did, Kurt wished that he had pushed. He was blindsided, ambushed; it was unlike anything he could have imagined.

“I have a secret,” Blaine whispered while they were in bed.

Kurt tensed, “I thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other.”

“We don’t,” Blaine responded, “But I have something I want to tell you. It’s not a bad secret.”

“Yet, I’m still nervous.”

“Just hear me out,” Blaine said sitting up in the dark, Kurt following suit, “I’ve been thinking; about Rachel’s baby.”

“What about her?”

“I felt her kick the other day. Rachel and I were in the kitchen and we were singing and I guess the baby started kicking a lot. Rachel says she kicks a lot when she sings, but never like she did when we were singing together. But it was just so surreal, Kurt. I couldn’t see her, but I could feel her moving and responding to the sound of my voice. But I kept thinking about…other things.”

“Like,” Kurt questioned.

“Everything really,” Blaine answered, “I’ve been thinking about how she’s going to grow up with people none of us know. About how we’ve spent the last however many months around her, feeling her kick, hearing her heartbeat at doctor’s appointments, watching her grown on the ultrasound and in a couple of months she’s going to be here, really be here, and we aren’t going to get to watch her do anything anymore. We may never even know her name. She’s going to go into a system and we have to hope that it’s not too long before some loving couple chooses to love her.”

“Blaine—“

“I already love her, Kurt.”

“Blaine, what are you saying?”

“I love her.”

“And you what,” Kurt asked, “Blaine, do you want to adopt her? Are you out of your mind?”

Kurt was certain that he was dreaming. Because there was no way that this was happening in his reality.

“Maybe,” Blaine said with a shrug, “But doesn’t it bother you that this is happening/? Don’t you want to do something about it?”

“Adopting Rachel’s baby is not the answer,” Kurt argued.

“And why not?”

“Because we’re twenty-five.”

“So.”

“And we aren’t married.”

“We can be.”

“And what if I say no? What if I say I don’t want to adopt a baby and marry you? What does that mean?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Maybe you should have figured that out before you brought this up.”

“And maybe you should think about it before you say no,” Blaine said.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to think about kids, Blaine.”

“It’s not kids, Kurt. It’s a kid. It’s that kid,” Blaine said pointing to the closed bedroom door, “That little girl.”

“You know what, I’ve had it,” Kurt said sitting up quickly and climbing out of bed, “Ever since Rachel showed up at our door, you’ve been fawning over her and that baby like it was your own. And at first, I thought ‘Oh, that’s cute. He’ll be a great dad someday.’ But now that you want to adopt that baby and seem to have little regard to my feelings in the matter—“

“Of course your feelings matter, Kurt,” Blaine said his voice rising, “I don’t want to do this by myself.”

“And if I tell you no, you’re going to hate me,” Kurt said, “So, I feel like my back is against the wall here, Blaine.”

“It’s not.”

“It is,” Kurt said, “You’re telling me this is what you want and whether you hate me or resent me, things will change if I tell you no. And they really change if I tell you yes.”

“So what are you telling me?”

Kurt walked over to the dresser across the room, not looking at Blaine, “I’m telling you that I need to get out of here before I say or do something without thinking it through.”

Kurt pulled open the dresser drawer and pulled out a pair of jeans, quickly exchanging his pajama pants with them.

“Kurt, it’s late,” Blaine called from the bed.

“And I’m an adult,” Kurt said turning back to Blaine, looking him in the eye, “And you’re asking me to make some very adult situations right now so I can handle myself at night.”

“Where are you going?”

Kurt shrugged, “Probably Tina’s. Mike’s out of town.  But if I stay here—if I—I can feel—I love you, okay. I just—I just need to think about everything, Blaine.”

Kurt watched as Blaine’s shoulders slumped in defeat and his head nodded slowly. Kurt tried to push the image of his boyfriend with tears in his eyes from his mind as he left the bedroom, hurried past Rachel sitting on the couch and out the door, sending a text message to Tina as it shut behind him.

* * *

Blaine stood outside his bedroom door just as Kurt walked out the door of their apartment, the door slamming, probably a little too hard behind him. If he had expected this reaction from Kurt, he never would have opened his mouth; he would have kept all the research he’d done about adoption in the state of New York to himself. He expected them to talk about it; he’d never expect his request to cause Kurt to go out into the night to get away from him. He wanted to adopt Rachel’s daughter, but he wanted Kurt do it with him. They’d be a family.  But none of it meant anything without Kurt. He should have told Kurt that. He should have told him that if he said no, it would be okay. But part of him wanted to see if Kurt could be convinced, he guessed. But he’d never said a word to stop him from going.

“You going to tell me what you were fighting about that made him leave,” Rachel said from the couch.

“You didn’t hear?”

“I was listening to the Funny Girl soundtrack,” Rachel explained, “Had my headphones in. There are rumors that they’re going to be reviving it right after this little girl is born. It’ll be the perfect thing to focus on so that I can move on with my life.”

“Well, then I’m not telling you why we were fighting,” Blaine said.

“It was about me.”

“No.”

“You’re lying.”

“Fine,” Blaine said, “It was partially about you.”

Rachel’s eyebrows creased.

“I want to adopt your baby,” Blaine said in a rush.

“You what,” Rachel shouted, “Blaine—“

“I know,” Blaine said, “Go ahead and tell me I’m stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Rachel said, “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“I was waiting to talk to you after I talked to Kurt,” Blaine said, “But that didn’t go so well.”

“Looks like it.”

“How do you feel about it,” Blaine asked, “let’s say by some miracle Kurt doesn’t leave me over this, what would you say if I ask?”

“Blaine, we both know I’m not ready to be a mom,” Rachel said, “But if you are Kurt are ready to be dads, I don’t think this little girl could have two better parents.”

“Except Kurt doesn’t’ know if he’s ready.”

“And you told him want you wanted to do and you had a fight and he left?”

“Bingo.”

“I guess no good deed goes unpunished,” Rachel said.

Blaine shook his head, “He’s not punishing me”

“Well you look like you’re waiting for the world to implode, so it looks like he’s punishing you to me.”

“I thought you two were getting along.”

“We’re getting along as he isn’t leaving you upset in the middle of the night forcing me to pick sides.”

“I don’t blame him,” Blaine said, “But he’ll be back. We’ll figure this out.”

“You’re so sure.”

“I know, Kurt,” Blaine said, “I know us.”

“I wish I could find what you guys have,” Rachel said, “I’ve always wanted a love for the ages.”

“We’re lucky to have found each other,” Blaine said, a slight smile on his face, “And what about Finn?”

“He kissed me on New Year’s,” Rachel said with a smile.

“And,” Blaine urged excitedly.

“He lives in Ohio,” Rachel said.

“And he’s been flying out here every other weekend just to see you.”

“He comes to see Kurt.”

“Now Rachel Berry, that isn’t true and you know it,” Blaine said, “Finn and Kurt are close, but Kurt definitely prefers when Finn is in Lima and not living in his apartment. He spends most of his time with you.”

“I like him, Blaine,” Rachel said, “But I’m not exactly in the condition to be dating.”

“But one day you’ll be the right condition again and maybe you’ll find out that you’ve found your Prince Charming, just as I’ve found mine.”

“I want to hug you,” Rachel said, “But I don’t think I can move.”

Blaine smiled and stood up so that he could lean down and wrap his arms around Rachel, grateful the comfort.

“Now, sit down,” Rachel said as they pulled apart, “There’s a Greys Anatomy marathon on Lifetime and we’re going to watch it until Prince Charming comes back.

Blaine fell asleep, curled into the couch cushions, before the first episode was even over.

#break#

“Hey, Buddy,” Burt said answering the phone, “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I called in sick,” Kurt said flatly.

“You don’t sound sick,” Burt responded, “What’s going on, Kurt?”

“Blaine and I had a fight.”

“I see.”

“That’s all you’re going to say,” Kurt said feeling as unsteady as he’d been for the last twelve hours. He was in Tina’s guest room though the house was empty.

 “Well, you can either tell me about what the fight was about or we can talk about the Lima weather.”

He’d thought about everything that Blaine had proposed to him the night before, but he was still unsure. So he did what he’d been doing all his life: he called his dad.

“Blaine wants to get married and adopt Rachel’s baby,” Kurt said.

“Wow,” Burt responded, “And how do you feel about that?”

“You sound like a shrink, Dad.”

“I could be chargin’ you the big bucks for this phone call if it’ll make ya feel better,” Burt said, “Or you can just tell me.”

“Fine,” Kurt said with a huff, “I don’t know how I feel. He’s been thinking about this without me and then he springs it on me and I’m just supposed to be okay with it. I can’t tell him no without him hating me.”

“Do you want to tell him no?”

“I—I don’t know,” Kurt said exasperated, “I never really thought about it until he brought it up. But he really wants this dad. He wants to get married and start a family tomorrow and I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“Do you want to marry him,” Burt asked.

“Of course,” Kurt said without hesitation, “You know that.”

“Then maybe you do this and you do it a little differently than you planned. Maybe there was a reason that girl showed up at your door,” Burt said, “But if you’re not ready to do this, Kurt. Don’t. Blaine’s been around a long time and he’s like family. What you two have is special and special means your relationship is going to be just fine if this isn’t for the both of yous right now. But you have to be sure.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Kurt said, “And what do you think? If I say yes, I mean.”

“I think you might have to get used to Carole and I hanging around New York more often so we can see that little girl,” Burt said, “But Kurt as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too, Kurt.”

* * *

I took another hour sitting on Tina’s couch, thinking about the things that his dad had said, what Blaine had said, what his head and his heart were saying, before Kurt figured it all out. Well, maybe not everything because there was still a lot that needed to be discussed, but he knew what he wanted and he was eager to get home and get it.

Kurt walked into the apartment, feeling like he’d been gone for more than a few hours, excited to be home, calling Blaine’s name. But there was no reply.

Something inside Kurt that had been rattling since the moment he’d left the night before calmed when he came home, but began to slowly begin to vibrate as he searched the bedroom and the kitchen to find that it was empty. Blaine wasn’t there.

The apartment was quiet, too quiet, for all the thoughts running through his head. He’d planned to blurt out everything he’d rehearsed on the way over as soon as he saw Blaine. He hadn’t counted on Blaine not being there.

Kurt heard the door to Rachel’s bedroom open and was slightly disappointed when Rachel appeared, alone, in the doorway.

“Is Blaine at work,” Kurt asked to quiet the voice in his head that was whispering that Blaine had packed his things and left him. It was irrational, yes, but he needed some reassurance that everything was going to work out in the end.

Rachel nodded.

“Did you know,” Kurt asked, “Did you know that Blaine wanted to adopt your baby?”

Rachel shook her head, “Not until you’d already left last night.”

“How do you feel about it,” Kurt said, “If he didn’t tell you and he didn’t tell me—“

“He didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up,” Rachel explained based on what Blaine had told her the night before, “And I think that this little girl couldn’t ask for better parents. You two love each other and I know that you’d love her with just as much passion. But I’m not okay with anything that causes you two to fight, or worse, break up.”

Kurt took a deep breath, and smiled to himself, “Will you help me with something?”

“Are you going to break up with him?”

Kurt smiled, “No, Rachel, I’m not.”

“Then tell me what I can do,” Rachel said with a smile.

* * *

Blaine had never been more physically or emotionally exhausted than he was when by the time he’d gotten home from work. The couch wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep and he spent much of the night awake trying to figure out if he’d just, unintentionally thrown away his relationship with the love of his life. Kurt hadn’t been answering any of his texts or his calls to his cell. Blaine had even called his office and they told him that he was out sick, surprised that he didn’t already know himself. So close to getting his promotion, if Kurt was missing work he must have really been upset and Blaine couldn’t help the guilt that sat in his belly. He never expected Kurt to have some a violent reaction.

He opened the door to his apartment to find it illuminated only by the last rays of the setting sun coming through the curtains of the big window that looked out over the city.

“Rachel,” Blaine called.

He was met with only silence.

“Kurt,” Blaine tried, taking a chance.

“I’m in the kitchen,” a voice, Kurt’s voice, responded.

Blaine’s shoulders sagged in relief and a smile came over his face as he hurried towards the voice, towards Kurt. Blaine found him standing over the stove stirring something in a pot on the burner.

Kurt dropped the spoon as soon as Blaine came into view and then launched himself at his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around him like it hadn’t been eighteen hours, but eighteen years. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt, grateful that his boyfriend had come home.

“Kurt—”

“We’ll talk,” Kurt said, “I promise. Just not right now. Right now we eat.”

Kurt finished making dinner, chatting with Blaine as he usually did, as if nothing had been wrong, as if they weren’t about to have one of the most important discussions of their lives. They sat across from each other as they ate, Blaine grateful when Kurt hooked his ankle with Blaine’s beneath the table as they continued to ignore the unanswered questions that hovered in the air around them. When they finished, Kurt pushed both of their plates aside and looked at Blaine.

“Talk to me,” Blaine said reaching out for Kurt’s hand, happy when gave it to him, “Please.”

Kurt nodded, “You freaked me out last night, Blaine.”

“I know, Kurt. I’m sorry. I should have brought it up a different way, at a different time,” Blaine said, “But I promise I wasn’t giving you any kind of ultimatum.”

“I know,” Kurt said, “It’s just that I hadn’t even seriously thought about starting a family until you said you wanted to adopt Rachel’s baby.”

“I wasn’t expecting this,” Blaine explained, “After Rachel told us that she was going to be putting the baby up for adoption I had a thought, a harmless, non-life changing thought about you and me and that little girl and then I just became obsessed. I’ve been looking into what we’d need to do and what Rachel would need to do and then I knew it was something I wanted to do. But please, Kurt, if you don’t want this we don’t have to. I’m not going to hate you or be angry.”

“I called my dad this morning,” Kurt told him, “He told me that I needed to make sure that whatever I decided, it was what I wanted; it was what would make me happy.”

“Absolutely.”

“I also told me that there was a reason that Rachel showed up at _our_ door that night,” Kurt explained, his eyes filling with tears because this was it. This was the moment that would change his life, “And I think she showed up so that she could give us that little girl.”

Kurt looked up to see the tears in Blaine’s wide eyes, the smile on his face, “You’re sure?”

“To show you how sure I am,” Kurt said sliding off the chair, down to the floor, on one knee, the box already in his hand, “Would you, Blaine Devon Anderson, give me the honor of being your husband?”

Kurt opened the box to display an exquisite fourteen karat white gold ring set with six tiny diamonds. Kurt had walked into the jewelry store and the moment he saw that ring, he knew it was the one. Kurt looked up expectantly at Blaine, there was a tear rolling down his cheek.

“You’re sure,” Blaine asked again.

“I’ve never meant anything more.”

“Then, yes,” Blaine said, his smile growing, the tears falling faster from his eyes, “Yes, I will marry you.”

Kurt pushed himself to his feet and closed the space between himself and Blaine, leaning down, taking his face between his hands and kissing him soundly.

“I hope you know I’m still angry,” Kurt said, “Now I have to get ready for baby and plan a wedding at the same time.”

Blaine smiled and kissed his fiancé.

“By the way,” Blaine said, “Where’s Rachel?”

“Oh, she’s with Tina for the night.”

“Tina? She took you in last night and is keeping Rachel tonight. We probably owe her, like a lot.”

“And she’s the one who introduced us.”

“Well then thank god for Tina Cohen Chang.”

 

 


	7. 2 Weeks Until Madeline

They were celebrating. Celebrating the fact that Kurt had gotten his promotion at work, celebrating the fact that it was Valentine’s Day and it was one of, if not completely, Kurt and Blaine’s favorite holiday, and they were celebrating the fact that they were weeks away from becoming parents. This was why when Kurt’s phone rang during dinner, and he saw that it was Finn, he immediately silenced his phone and placed it in the pocket of his jacket. Nights where they would be able to enjoy nights out, just the two of them, were about to disappear for a while and whatever Finn needed could wait until later.

The baby was due in two weeks and it felt like every free moment Kurt and Blaine had, was spent getting ready for her arrival. They’d hired the lawyers to take care of all the paperwork, and everything was set to be completed by the time their yet-to-be-named little girl arrived at the end of the month.

Going through the adoption process was both exciting and terrifying. Because despite how much they wanted this, everything was still very dependent on Rachel who had plenty of time to change her mind. They reminded her with each new bit of the process they went through that Rachel could back out if she wasn’t sure about anything. But in response Rachel would sit back, place her hand on her swollen belly, smile and repeat the very words that Burt had told Kurt, and that Kurt had repeated to Blaine.

“There’s a reason I showed up on your doorstep that night,” she’d said, “and it was to give this little go to you.”

And while Kurt had had his hesitations at first, and he would admit that his behavior the night that Blaine asked him to be a father with him was a little overdramatic, even for him, now that he was onboard, he’d never wanted anything more in his life. Plus, it meant he got to decorate.

They’d begun making minor changes to the guest room, painting the walls, changing the curtain, but they couldn’t do a lot with Rachel still living in there. So for now, there was an empty crib in the corner of Kurt and Blaine’s bedroom where their little girl would sleep until she got a room of her own.

The night Kurt and Blaine put the crib together, while Blaine was asleep next to him, Kurt sat in bed and looked at the cherry wood crib with the purple, black and white bedding, and for the first time Kurt pictured himself standing over the crib, his little girl in his arms, watching as she looked up at him with rich brown eyes. Eventually she’d smile back, and then talk, and walk, and throw a temper tantrum. But Kurt smiled because he was going to get to watch her do it. He was going to be the person that little girl called “daddy” when he came home from work and whose shoulder she cried on because she fell off her bike and scraped her knee. The thought of it all made something warm settle comfortably in the middle of his chest.

And the more Kurt spent getting ready to become a father, the more time he spent with Rachel. They were becoming friends, bonding over musical theatre and Vogue magazine. And yes, she still got on his nerves, but she was giving him and Blaine the baby that was growing inside of her, and for that, Kurt learned to push away all his negative feelings towards her. They’d never be best friends, but as of the day Kurt agreed to adopt her baby, they became family.

A few moments after Kurt’s phone rang, Blaine’s vibrated in his pocket. He slipped it out to see that Finn was now calling him. He shot a confused look at Kurt before answering.

“Hey, Finn,” Blaine asked.

“At least one of you had the sense to answer your phone,” Finn responded, “Jeez; you’d think you both forgot you’ve got a baby on the way.”

“Rachel’s at home.”

“Rachel is on her way to the hospital,” Finn corrected, “She’s in labor.”

“What,” Blaine shouted gaining the attention of the people at the tables around him, and most importantly a very concerned Kurt, “How do you know?”

“We were Skyping,” Finn told him, “when her water broke.”

“Why didn’t Rachel call us,” Blaine said signally for Kurt to get a waiter.

“Because she didn’t want to bother you guys when you were out for Valentine’s Day,” Finn explained, “and it’s probably going to be a while. But I thought you two should know.”

“Thanks, Finn. We’ll get to the hospital right away.”

Blaine was about to hang up before he heard Finn’s voice, tense in his ear, “Blaine?”

“Yeah, Finn.”

“Can you let me know how she is,” Finn asked, “I don’t want to bother her until after it’s over, but I want to know that she’s alright.”

Blaine smiled, “Yeah, Finn. We’ll call you when we know more.”

* * *

Both the nurse and Rachel looked up startled when Kurt and Blaine came racing through the door of Rachel’s hospital room.

“What are you doing here,” Rachel exclaimed as the nurse excused herself.

“You’re in labor,” Kurt said.

“You’re having our baby,” Blaine said simultaneously.

Rachel huffed, “It’ll be hours. I didn’t want to ruin your night.”

“We should be here,” Kurt said walking over and taking Rachel’s hand, “And one day we will tell her about the thirty-six hours of labor we watched you go through.”

Rachel smiled, “How did you even know I was here?”

“Finn called us,” Blaine said coming up on the other side of Rachel’s bed.

“Of course he did.”

“But I wish you would have called us yourself. This, being here with you while you deliver our baby, is more important than anything else we could ever be doing,” Kurt said softly.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Rachel said, “and I am glad you’re here. This hurts.”

The boys laughed and Blaine leaned in and kissed Rachel on the cheek.

“I should go call Finn,” Kurt said, “We promised we would.”

“Could you,” Rachel started, “Could you let him know I’m alright? I think I freaked him out a little when this all started.”

Kurt smiled. He never thought in a million years that he would want Rachel dating anyone he knew, let alone his brother. But they were special to each other and he knew that you couldn’t help it when you were falling in love. It was how it had been with Blaine and it was what he accepted for his brother and the mother of his child.

“Yeah,” Kurt said before leaving the room.

Seven hours later at 2:58 AM on February 15th, the first cry of a newborn baby girl echoed a hushed delivery room.

* * *

The last time Kurt had held a baby he was maybe seven and his aunt brought over his new cousin for a visit. He remembered how he had to sit down on the couch and hold his arms just right so that his aunt could lower his cousin into his arms. He’d held his cousin for maybe five minutes before she became fussy and was taken away from a bottle or to be changed or something. And he remembered the care and the delicateness that he had practiced then as the nurse placed a tiny little girl, his tiny little girl, in his arms for the first time.

When Kurt was in high school he dreamed of New York and Time Square. There was nothing or no one more beautiful than standing in the middle of the lights surrounded by the constant shuffle of people. But he’d been wrong. Through the shuffle he’d found Blaine and in his arms was a little girl who shined brighter and was more beautiful, only hours old, than any light, any star, any sun.

“She’s beautiful,” Blaine whispered standing behind Kurt, a hand at Kurt’s waist, the other gently

“I love you,” he said turning to look at Blaine, “I love her,” he said as he looked down and the little girl. Her eyes were closed and she was probably asleep, but he couldn’t move. He didn’t want to disrupt the harmony of the moment by moving on to the next.

But Blaine patted Kurt’s side and moved in front of him with a smile.

“Okay,” he said, “My turn.”

Kurt reluctantly let Blaine take their daughter into their arms. He immediately felt like part of him was missing.

The little girl fussed as she settled into the arms of her daddy but Blaine shushed her, “its okay, baby girl, I’ve got you.”

“We need to name her,” Kurt whispered. The sight of Blaine holding their daughter making up for the fact that Kurt desperately wanted for it to be his turn again, “We can keep calling her baby girl forever.”

“Try me,” Blaine said with a quiet laugh, “Thoughts?”

Kurt took a deep breath and went over the countless lists that they’d created. They’d spent so much time looking at every name from the most common to the most outrageous. But he looked at his daughter, sleeping in the arms of her father, and one name stopped him, “How do you feel about Madeline?”

“Madeline, huh,” Blaine said looking down at their daughter, their beautiful daughter, “Madeline Rose Anderson-Hummel.”

“Madeline Rose Anderson-Hummel,” Kurt repeated, his eyes beginning to mist.

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah,” Kurt said as a tear began rolling down his cheek, “I love it.”

Madeline Rose Anderson-Hummel. Welcome to the world, little girl.

 


	8. Life with Maddy

Life with newborn Madeline was everything and nothing like Kurt and Blaine had imagined it would be. It was exhausting, at times disgusting, and the concept of personal time was thrown out the window the moment she was carried through the door. But it was also beautiful, always new and exciting, and completely worth it.

Madeline was, without a doubt, the best thing to ever happen to them.

They learned quickly and before long had developed go-to ways of taking care of certain situations.

Like how Kurt accidentally discovered that putting on Celine Dion was excellent at quieting Madeline when nothing else was working. She was changed and fed and burped, but the sound of The Power of Love was enough to silence her cries and send her drifting off quietly to sleep on Kurt’s shoulder. But nothing was more effective than the sound of Blaine’s humming or singing softly while he rocked Madeline in his arms. Kurt had even woken Blaine up numerous times when Celine and a lap around the apartment just wouldn’t do the trick. 

Blaine was a natural, but Kurt had no idea what he was doing and he was certain that everyone around him knew it. He was certain that someone was going to come and take her away because she’d been crying for too long. On one particular afternoon when Ms. Madeline was particularly angry that she was stuck with Kurt as a father (at least that’s how he saw it) Kurt called his father, the baby screaming in the background.

“She won’t stop crying,” Kurt said into the phone in response to his father’s hello, “I’ve done everything I can think of and I can’t get her to stop crying.”

Burt chuckled, “Where is she now?”

“In her carrier on the table,” Kurt said, “God that makes it sound like we’re treating her like an animal.”

“Where’s Blaine?”

“He’s teaching a piano lesson tonight,” Kurt explained.

“And you’ve tried everything,” Burt said.

Kurt sighed, frustrated, “Yes, dad. Her diaper is changed, she was fed and burped and rocked and bounced and I’ve tried Katy and Celine and Barbra. Nothing is working.”

“When was the last time she napped?”

“She’s been awake for a couple of hours.”

“She’s probably just tired.”

“Then why doesn’t she just go to sleep,” Kurt asked exasperated.

“Because she’s stubborn like her dad,” Burt said, “This would be easier if you had a car you could just take around the block, but since you don’t and she’s probably already worn herself out quite a bit, pick her up and put her on your chest and just walk her around the apartment a little. Sing to her. I know you think that’s Blaine’s thing but we both know you’ve got a set of pipes on you too.”

Kurt sighed, willing to except anything that worked at this point, “Okay. Let me put down the phone.”

“If you hang up on me, I know everything is fine and I’ll call you in the morning.”

Kurt didn’t respond but put the phone down on the kitchen table next to Madeline’s carrier.

“Okay, Maddy girl, let’s try to get you to sleep so that when Daddy comes home he doesn’t realize that I’m terrible at this and leaves me behind,” Kurt said pulling his crying daughter into his arms and placing her against his chest like his father had suggested. He was pretty sure that if this didn’t work he was just going to cry alongside Madeline until Blaine got home. He’d never had such a problem getting her to calm down before. But he took a breath and was grateful when Maddy nestled herself against him, though she was still fussing as he began to sing.

_Forget your troubles, come on get happy  
You better chase all your cares always…_

It wasn’t immediate; in fact at one point when the cries crescendoed again, Kurt was certain that it hadn’t worked at all. But he just continued singing while he danced slowly around the apartment. And then the only sound in the apartment came from Kurt’s voice and he looked down and while she wasn’t completely asleep, Madeline had finally cried herself out and a moment later, her eyes were closed. Kurt was afraid to take a deep breath as relief washed over him, but he settled for a smile and a single tear.

Kurt walked slowly over to where he’d left the phone and put it back against his ear.

“Thanks, dad,” he whispered.

“Any time, bud,” Burt responded, “I’ll talk to you later.”

Kurt hung up the phone and for fear of Madeline waking as he placed her in her crib, Kurt slowly settled himself on to the couch, holding Maddy against him while he watched The Bachelor with the sound off.

* * *

Neither Kurt nor Blaine were really prepared for the emotional nature of Madeline’s two month check-up. It wasn’t until they were sitting in the doctor’s office, watching their happy little girl wiggle around on the examination table and the words vaccines came out of the doctor’s mouth that they both nearly stopped breathing.

“S-shots,” Kurt questioned.

“Their standard at two months,” the doctor explained, “it shouldn’t take more than fifteen minutes.”

Only fifteen minutes, huh? Only fifteen minutes of their daughter being injected with needles and crying with both of her parents unable to take away the pain. It was certainly going to be the worst fifteen of their life. And the second the first cry came from Madeline Kurt reached over and grabbed tightly to Blaine’s hand.

“I’ll buy her a pony,” Blaine said causing the doctor and, even in his terrified state, Kurt to laugh.

“Blaine, she’s two months old,” Kurt countered, “She won’t want a pony for at least another three years. If we’re lucky.”

“I don’t care. Our parents should have bought us ponies for going through all of this,” Blaine said. He cringed as another yelp came from Madeline on the exam table, “Our parents should have bought themselves ponies. This is terrifying.”

And after what seemed like an eternity, it was over and Madeline was nestled in Kurt’s arms while the doctor explained that Madeline was healthy and seemingly happy and that they would see them again in a  couple of months. As they walked out of the doctor’s office the doctor reminded them that there would be a second round of immunizations during Madeline’s four month checkup so that they could be a little more emotionally prepared.

Kurt was pretty sure that wasn’t possible.

* * *

By the time Kurt and Blaine walked through the door of their apartment, they were both ready to lay Maddy down for her nap and crash on the bed after her. Madeline had already gotten a head start and had fallen asleep on the way home. But the first thing Kurt noticed when he walked in the door, was a ball cap sitting on the back of the couch; this dad’s ball cap.

“Dad,” Kurt called out.

Instead of his father, Kurt, Blaine and a sleeping Madeline were greeted by a number of friends and family. Carole and Burt, Finn and Rachel, Mike and Tina, a few of both Kurt and Blaine’s co-workers. 

“What is everyone doing here,” Blaine asked before Kurt could find his voice.

“Well,” Rachel said moving to the front of the group, “since you didn’t really give anyone enough time to throw you a proper baby shower before you became parents, I, well, we, decided that you should still get one so that we could give you all the things you haven’t already gotten for Madeline.”

Everyone behind Rachel nodded silently.

“I-I-wow,” was all Kurt could muster.

“Plus,” Burt chimed, “it gave us a chance to fly out and see our granddaughter. No more of this pictures junk, let’s see the real thing.”

With no other choice, Kurt and Blaine walked into their living room, Blaine lifting the carrier with Madeline still sleeping inside onto the table where the grandparents could silently oh and ah over here while their eyes filled with tears. They’d flown out shortly after Madeline was born, but could only stay for a couple of days and all Madeline had really done was slept.

While everyone’s attention was on his daughter, Kurt looked around the living room to see that it had been immaculately decorated in purple and white and that there was a rather large mound of wrapped gifts in the corner of the room.

“Well,” Rachel said, “Since Madeline is here and that means there aren’t really any fun games we can play because, well, she’s here, I think we should just get on to presents!”

Rachel ushered Kurt and Blaine over to the two chairs that had been set up and sat them down while Carole took Madeline, who had woken up, out of her carrier and nestled her in her arms as she took a seat next to Burt.

By the time they had opened all the gifts, Kurt and Blaine were surrounded by toys, bottles, a diaper bag, a stroller, and two bottles of wine, among other things. They were in awe of the generosity of their friends and family, and how absolutely spoiled Madeline was.

“Where are we going to put all this,” Blaine asked, looking at Kurt.

“Well,” Rachel said, “In two weeks, when I move out Madeline will have her own room and you can fit most of this in the closet in the bedroom.”

“What, Rachel,” Kurt said, “You don’t have to.”

“I know. But it’s time for me to step out of my own. I will really show or tell you guys how grateful I am for the two of you,” Rachel took a breath, her eyes filling with tears as she smiled at Kurt and Blaine, “But Edna has offered me a fulltime position at the coffee shop and I found a little apartment not far from there that is cozy and where I can practice for the audition I have for the Funny Girl revival in a few weeks.”

“Rachel, that’s fantastic,” Blaine said.

“Thank you, Blaine,” Rachel said, “And you too, Kurt. Without either of you I don’t think any of this would have been possible.”

The boys smiled at Rachel, but didn’t say a word. Because the possibility of Rachel’s future, of Kurt, or of Blaine’s didn’t come from Kurt or Blaine or Rachel. It didn’t come from a scared pregnant girl coming in from the rain; it didn’t come from the need for Kurt and Blaine to become a family; the possibility of it all came from one thing, one _person_. It came from Madeline Rose, the little girl asleep in her grandmother’s arms. It didn’t matter who or where she came from, what mattered was that she was there. And with her, the possibility of their futures was endless.

 

 


	9. 1 Year of Madeline

Madeline’s first birthday party was really just a reason for Kurt and Blaine to rent a ridiculously large room and decorate it with bright colors. Because, really, first birthdays (and seconds and sometimes thirds) are more for the parent than they are for the child.

_Congratulations, honey, we managed to keep another human alive for an entire year. Let’s have cake!_

But regardless of how much Madeline actually appreciated her first birthday parent and all of her daddies’ hard work, there were a lot of people around to celebrate her.

Standing to the side, watching Blaine talk to one of Rachel’s dads, Madeline on his hip, Kurt couldn’t help but think back on the eighteen months of his life and realize that he was nowhere near where he once planned he would be at twenty-six.

It started with a girl; soaking wet, pregnant and a complete pain in his ass and somehow it brought him to the day he would be celebrating his daughter, with his husband, and the realization of just how happy he was. It made his eyes misty. He’d never felt more love in his life.

Kurt gaze moved to Rachel, who stood talking to Carole, her arm around Finn’s waist.  The Funny Girl revival had opened last week and Rachel was, no surprise, their star. But today she’d given her role to her understudy so that she could celebrate Madeline with them.

Before Kurt could say otherwise, Finn had packed up everything he had in Lima and was moving to New York. He’d managed to find a job, an apartment, and a girlfriend that, once upon a time, would have outraged Kurt. But now he smiled and congratulated them. And he meant it. Rachel and Finn were actually good for each other.

And then there was the little girl who suddenly appeared next to him, a sleepy smile on her face and her head on Blaine’s shoulder. Kurt was sure the sight of Blaine and Madeline together would never get old; and it would never stop making him smile.

“Can you take her,” Blaine asked, “There’s something I’ve got to do.”

Kurt nodded and took Madeline from Blaine’s arms, her little head immediately nestling into the crook of Kurt’s neck. She’d be asleep soon.

Kurt rubbed his daughter’s back as he watched Blaine make his way across the room to the piano that was set up in the corner. He knew that Blaine had had it rented for this event, but he never questioned why. Blaine called the attention of everyone in the room to himself as he sat down on the piano bench.

“I want to thank you all for coming out here to celebrate Maddy’s first birthday. I think she’s falling asleep over there, but I know she appreciates it,” Blaine said with a small laugh, “What seems like a very long time ago, I started writing some music and for a long time I had the melody, but I couldn’t find the right words to go along with it. But then there was a little girl and suddenly the words started to come and over the last eighteen months, I’ve been putting together a collection of songs lullabies and I’ve recorded them, but today I want to play one just for Madeline on her birthday. I love you, baby girl.”

As Blaine began to play, Kurt watched his husband, amazed, as the beauty of Blaine’s song filled the room. He looked down and watched as Madeline, her eyes beginning to droop closed, but directed at her daddy. The tears welled up in his eyes and one single drop trailed down his cheek, but he didn’t move to wipe it away. He only held onto Madeline tighter as Blaine sang. The song was beautiful, his family was beautiful and although Kurt had never thought this was where he’d find himself…he wouldn’t trade it for the world. 


End file.
